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How to Keep a Relationship Fresh After Six Years

by Anne Kinsey, studioD

New relationships are often full of passion, excitement and romance. As people are involved for longer amounts of time, it is common for some of that relational energy to dwindle. Turn normal relational lulls into opportunities to learn new tricks for refreshing your relationship. Just because you have been together for a long amount of time does not mean that you need to settle for boring. You and your love will both be happier when you have something to look forward to; and when you regularly share in new adventures of life and romance.

Meet with your significant other to complete a relational inventory by writing down the things you love about your relationship and the things you want to improve. Communicate with empathy and respect, listen attentively and write out a plan for addressing areas of growth in your relationship.

Write down some of your favorite memories as a couple. These memories could be anything from a vacation you took together, to a special evening out or a particular holiday you celebrated together. Resolve to recreate some of your special memories in order to bring up old feelings of excitement and make them fresh again.

Ignite sparks of romance and mystery in your relationship. Take turns planning surprise dates for one another every few weeks. The person planning the date should choose something she is sure her partner will really enjoy doing. Concerts, plays, miniature vacations, an evening in nature and a night of poetry are just a few of the possibilities that might interest you.

Make a routine of communicating regularly. Check in with each other each night, talk about the things you love about one another, reveal the most challenging and delightful parts of your day and spend time snuggling, laughing or praying together, if you are religious. The mind is an erogenous zone, so the more you continue to get to know one another through regular communication, the more likely you are to feel excitement and romance in your relationship.

Encourage one another to pursue interests outside of your relationship so that you have things to talk about when you are together. Fulfilled individuals make intriguing partners in romantic relationships. It is all about balance when it comes to love. Live out your dreams so that your eyes sparkle, you are passionate about life and have the energy and desire to fully explore the romance of your relationship when the two of you are together.

Items you will need
  •  Pencil
  •  Paper


  • If you do everything you know how to do and your relationship is still in a lull, consider seeing a professional therapist who can help you address particular growth areas within your relationship. Sometimes a third party with a neutral perspective is all that is needed in order to get to the bottom of things.

About the Author

Anne Kinsey has been a writer for 10 years, with her writing published in print newsletters, as well as websites including eHow and LIVESTRONG. She is also a minister and violinist holding a B.A. in religion and African American studies, and a M.Div. in pastoral counseling.

Photo Credits

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