our everyday life

How to Be Independent From My Husband

by Jaime Vargas-Benitez, studioD

Several ways exist in which a wife can feel independent from her husband. When you seek your own hobbies and interests, establish your own financial freedom and make your self the top priority in your life you should feel more independent. An independent wife may be happier and share more with her husband if she does not feel herself a burden to him. When a woman has the freedom she needs to be herself, she gives more to her spouse, also.

Knowledge is Power

Be an active participant in your family's finances. If you are not the primary money earner in the family, your spouse may control the money in the house. This can leave a wife feeling completely dependent upon her husband, and sometimes resentful, advises licensed clinical social worker Susan Pease Gadoua in her Psychology Today article, "Are You an 'In-Spouse or Out-Spouse?' And Why it Matters." Sit down with your husband and become an active participant in the financial care of the household. The more knowledge and input you have toward the financial workings of your household, the more independent you may feel.


Independence does not always relate to money. Self-awareness is one way independence may be developed. Working on your self-awareness can lead to feeling more independent, says college professor and counselor Doron Gil in his PsychCentral article, "Seven Tips on Developing and Maintaining a Successful Intimate Relationship." Communicate your needs and desires with your spouse. Self-awareness brings a true knowledge of who you are as a person and what you bring to your marriage. When you are happier and more independent within yourself, you bring that same attitude to your marriage.

Get a Life

Intimacy is important in a relationship. When a couple goes beyond healthy intimacy into an interdependent relationship, it can mean trouble. By developing your own hobbies, interests or activities outside of your marriage, you are fostering your independence and the intimacy of your marriage, says the Brigham Young University publication Forever Families in the article, "Increasing Intimacy in Marriage." A sense of independence arises that happens when you find your own way of meeting your emotional and mental needs. When you feel stronger and less dependent upon your spouse for your sense of self, you may find your intimacy level increases, as well.

Financial Freedom

Gaining a sense of financial freedom is one way to gain independence from your husband. Financial freedom not only allows for a sense of independence but also teaches financial responsibility to children by leading through example, says the Women's Law Center of Maryland publication, "Your Money Matters, A Guide to Financial Independence for Women." You may work outside the home and put aside some money for yourself in a separate bank account. If you stay at home, you may put aside money from your budget that you save by clipping coupons or scrutinizing the best sales for items you need.

About the Author

Jaime Vargas-Benitez has been a parenting writer since 2010. She has worked in the child wellness field in various roles for over 20 years. Along with the experiences of raising her own kids, she has been privileged enough to participate in the raising of hundreds of other children as well.

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