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How to Improve a Relationship's Verbal Communication With My Girlfriend

by J.L Grayson-Avery

The success of a relationship relies heavily on effective communication. Many relationship problems can be traced back to a breakdown in communication or misunderstandings. In order to strengthen feelings and become more comfortable in each other’s company, a couple must learn to communicate their fears and desires to each other, says a HelpGuide.org website article. The sooner you both make more of an effort, the quicker you will see improvements in your relationship.

Make time for your girlfriend. If you can make time to hangout with friends then you can make time for her. Ensure that when you do get together it is quality time you share. Avoid going to places you know there will be distractions. You want to be able to concentrate on each other and nobody else, even if it is just an hour or two.

Talk to her about what you have done during your day and make sure you ask her questions too. Tell her how you feel about your relationship, if you are happy, what you like about her and how much you enjoy spending time in her company. Be honest about your desire to improve communications between you both. Ask her how she feels about that and if there are any areas of your relationship she believes need improving.

Listen to her when she speaks to you and make it clear you are absorbing what she is saying. Listening and hearing are two different things, and sometimes a person becomes so caught up in what they have to add to the chat that they do not listen to the other person. She will notice if you do not appear to be listening to her. This will increase the chances of your talk ending in an argument

Observe her body language or nonverbal cues, as these are just as important as what she is saying, says HelpGuide.org. You can normally tell how she is really feeling by watching her body language. If she avoids eye contact, she may be bored or disinterested. If she taps her feet or fingers, she may feel angry or frustrated. Although she may tell you one thing, her nonverbal cues may tell you something else.

Be honest with her. If you are happy then tell her. If you are feeling hurt, angry or frustrated then you need to tell her this too. Avoiding telling someone how you feel in order to keep the peace is a common barrier in relationships, says Dr. John M Grohol for a 2009 Psych Today website article. Encourage her to be honest with you; let her say how she feels without getting angry.

Make a commitment to each other to improve how you both communicate. Commit to working out ways to problem solve any conflict that arises between the two of you without the need for an argument, recommends Thomas Haller for a 2004 Healing Minds Institute website article. Accept that conflict does not have to have a winner and a loser.

About the Author

Residing in Blackpool, U.K., J.L Grayson-Avery has been writing since 1999. As a reporter her articles have appeared in "The Blackpool Gazette" and "Blackpool E" magazine. Grayson-Avery received a Higher National Diploma in journalism from Glasgow University.

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