How to Help My Husband Get Along With My Parents

by Karen L. Blair

Relationships with the in-laws can be difficult, and it can often be even more difficult to be the person caught in the middle. Although it is not possible to force your parents and your husband to get along, there are a few things that you can do to help encourage an amicable relationship between them. Establishing common ground between your parents and your husband can help them to realize the things that they have in common with one another and may make it easier for them to get along and enjoy each other's company. Similarly, knowing what topics they should avoid in order to avoid conflict can also be helpful.

Establishing Common Ground

Is there an activity that your husband enjoys that is also enjoyed by one or both of your parents?

Brainstorm about opinions, hobbies and interests that your husband may have in common with your parents.

Be encouraging when speaking with your husband.

Talk to your husband about the opinions, hobbies and interests that you identified as being of common interest between him and your parents.

Arranging activities that everyone enjoys can help them to get along.

Encourage your husband to make use of the previously identified areas of common interest when communicating and interacting with your parents. For example, if you discovered that your husband and father both enjoy golfing, encourage your husband to set up a golf match with your father.

Your parents might be willing to help!

Inform your parents about the areas of interest that they have in common with your husband so that they, too, can incorporate these topics and activities into their interactions with your husband.

Identify Trigger Issues

Even when people seem very much opposed, they often have something in common.

Discover the various topics that your husband and parents tend to disagree about or that are likely to cause conflict. To do this, think back over what the topics of previous arguments or disagreements have been.

It may take more than one try to convince your husband to avoid these topics.

Share your thoughts about the topics that are trigger issues for conflict between your husband and your parents with your husband. If your husband is aware of the issues that are more contentious, he may be willing to avoid engaging in discussions of these topics with your parents.

Be patient, getting everyone to get along can take time.

Share your thoughts about the topics that are trigger issues for conflict between your husband and your parents with your parents. Knowing what issues to avoid may help your parents be more willing to stay away from contentious discussions. Remind them that your husband is important to you, and ask them to help keep the peace.


  • Be patient; new relationships can take a while to grow.
  • Be respectful of your husband's boundaries. He may not be ready to get along with your parents if it has been a particularly negative relationship up until this point.
  • Try to participate in activities when everyone is together, rather than participating in aimless interactions.


  • Sometimes it is not possible to get your husband and parents to get along. Be prepared to think of solutions for how to keep your relationship with your husband and with your parents positive, even if they do not get along with each other.

About the Author

Karen L. Blair has been professionally writing since 2001. Her work has been published in academic journals such as the "Journal of Sex Research," "Journal of Social and Personal Relationships" and "Psychology & Sexuality." Blair received her M.Sc. in psychology at Acadia University and her Ph.D. in social psychology at Queen's University. She is currently a post-doctoral fellow and research consultant.

Photo Credits

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