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Healthy Way to Get Over an Ex-boyfriend

by Genevieve Van Wyden

You and your boyfriend just split up and you are hurting. You might be tempted to dive into the carton of ice cream in your freezer, or you could find yourself clicking on his Facebook or Twitter feeds. You need healthy ways of moving past this breakup so you can put yourself into a new and happier place. Hovering over his social network sites won’t help -- it’ll make your eventual recovery harder.

Grieve

Throw a pillow against the wall. Fill the tub with your favorite bath salts and immerse your body until the water cools down. Stay home and cry it out, but only for a certain amount of time, according to Cosmopolitan's website. Whether you’ve chosen one day or three, get it out of your system so that, when your time limit is up, you’ll be sick of crying or hearing that song you’ve been playing nonstop.

Disconnect Electronically

Grab your phone and computer and get comfy on your sofa. No, you’re not going to follow his tweets or Facebook updates. You’re going to do what’s best for your hurting heart and you’re going to delete him. Go ahead. Block or unfriend him. This way, you can’t follow what he’s doing. Do the same with his Twitter feed. Delete his phone number and all those texts from your phone.

Toss the Mementos

If you’re sitting in your apartment crying and going through the box of mementos you’ve been saving, you’re torturing yourself. If you can’t bring yourself to toss them in the dumpster, then, at the least, hide them. That includes movie stubs, that T-shirt he left at your place or your special song.

Vent With Your Best Friend

Call your best friend and suggest a “just for us” day. Go out and exercise or get manis and pedis and, while you’re doing so, just vent. Let her know that you’re going to let it all hang out so she’s ready. Once it’s over, you might feel better, as if you had cleansed your emotions.

Avoid His Hangouts

You might think that you’ll feel better by lurking at his favorite coffee shop, but this isn’t the case. When you see him, especially if he’s with another girl, you’ll feel just like you did in the moments after your breakup. Stay away from these hangouts. It might help if you can get a mutual friend to warn you when he plans to be there so you can be elsewhere.

No Rebound Relationships

It’s tempting to think of jumping into a relationship with a new guy, just to show him how desirable you are. But give your heart and emotions time to heal. Take that alone time and use it to get comfortable being by yourself and learning more about why your breakup happened, the Marie Claire website advises. While you’re by yourself, begin to deal with the breakup and what led to it.

Have Fun for Yourself

You probably enjoyed an activity or a food that your ex-boyfriend despised. Now you’re free to indulge in them, whether you like to volunteer at the animal shelter or you appreciate a good plate of sushi. Call your best friend and suggest a get-together around that activity or meal, Cosmopolitan suggests.

Time With Your Friends

It’s more than likely that your closest friends all know that you and your boyfriend have split. If they are really good friends, they’ll want to spend time with you, doing fun things so you can begin to feel better and -- hey, let’s face it -- heal. Go ahead and call a friend. Go to the movies. Just avoid the rom-coms or chick flicks. Go bowling and have fun.

Keep Busy

Get dressed, put on makeup and comb your hair. Now, grab your purse and leave your apartment. This is probably pretty difficult, but it’s necessary. Staying busy in the aftermath of a breakup gives you less time to obsess over him. Remember, you had a life before him, and you can have one after him, according to the Marie Claire website.

Exercise

Treat your body to an exercise session and boost those endorphins. Whether your exercise choice is a run, yoga or a Pilates session, work out regularly. If those thoughts of your ex-boyfriend intrude at night, that exercise session will wear you out, making it easier to sleep, Cosmopolitan says.

About the Author

Genevieve Van Wyden began writing in 2007. She has written for “Tu Revista Latina” and owns three blogs. She has worked as a CPS social worker, gaining experience in the mental-health system. Van Wyden earned her Bachelor of Arts in journalism from New Mexico State University in 2006.

Photo Credits

  • George Doyle/Stockbyte/Getty Images