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How to Handle a Long-Distance Breakup When Your Ex Wants You Back

by Margaret Sharpe, studioD

Breakups can be so heart wrenching that some of the most famous art in the world is dedicated to the subject. Music, poems and movies express the heartbreak that comes when a relationship ends. Breaking up with someone while you're hundreds or thousands of miles apart can make it easier; the task can be performed without having to face the other person's potentially crying eyes. But when your ex wants you back, the number of miles won't matter -- it can still be difficult.

Make a list. Remember, you broke up for a reason. Write down the reasons why the union failed. Be completely honest as you write it. This will aid in deciding if you want him back or would rather move on. You need to figure out what you want, although it’s easier said than done. It could require some serious soul searching. The benefit of a long-distance relationship and breakup is that you have the space to think about it without your ex banging on your door.

Talk about it -- or cut off all communication. If you want nothing to do with your ex, don’t talk to him. Let him know that you don’t want to get back together and cut off communication. Don’t text, email or return calls. It seems harsh, but if you want to be friends down the road, you have to allow each other time to heal. If you are considering rekindling, consult the list you compiled and have a conversation about what went wrong. Many long-distance relationships end because of the distance. If this was one of the chief reasons for the breakup, make sure that you're able to talk about solutions. Be open to compromise.

Be firm. Even when there are tears and he is begging to have you back, be firm. If you don’t want him back, don’t play with his emotions. Even one slip-up when you're bored and lonely will set you back, and it’s a cruel rigmarole to put your ex through. Just because you don’t want him back doesn't mean you won’t miss him. Giving false hope will harm your ex more in the long run. If you are ready to have him back in your life, it’s equally important to be firm about the changes you want to implement. If you want to have a successful second run at it, both of you need to have open communication and a committed approach to making it work.

About the Author

Margaret Sharpe is a graduate of California State University with a Bachelor of Arts in journalism. Her writing experience spans more than a decade and includes features for "San Pedro Today" magazine, fashion and lifestyle blogging for Sparkle and Fuzz, and broadcast news reporting for Hawthorne Community TV.

Photo Credits

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