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Do Guys Still Have to Ask for Dates When in a Relationship?

by Patti Richards, studioD

Even though you are in a committed relationship, thoughtfulness never goes out of style. But for guys, knowing when to ask for a date with your significant other and when to assume she just knows you will be there on Friday night can be tricky. Establishing some dating ground rules and remembering your manners can help.

The Standing Date

As long as you both agree ahead of time, there is nothing wrong with a weekly “standing date.” Having a certain time of week set aside to be together, no matter what else happens, gives you both a sense of security in the relationship. A standing date also lets your significant other know she is a priority and that at least one time each week, nothing can interfere with your time together. EHarmony reminds couples to stay creative with these types of dates so that each person knows the other is putting thought and energy into the relationship. They suggest both partners share the responsibility for thinking up date ideas and providing dinner.

Make Her Feel Special

Outside of your regularly scheduled date night, making your girlfriend feel special is important. Whether you have been dating for several months or a few years, asking your girlfriend out for special events or occasions makes her feel like she still inspires romance. Holidays like Valentine’s Day or her birthday are obvious, so look for occasions that will surprise her--like the anniversary of your first date--to keep things spontaneous and fresh. Charisma Magazine suggests making up a holiday that is just for her and celebrating in ways that make her feel valued and appreciated. Plan a special dinner with no distractions so she can have your undivided attention on her special night, and buy her a gift for no reason to let her know you have been listening when she tells you what makes her happy.

Communication is Key

Talk about your dating relationship so you know your girlfriend’s expectations and she knows yours when it comes to spending time together. Good communication makes any relationship stronger, and knowing the boundaries of when you need to ask her out for a date and when you can just stop by keeps things respectful. Assuming you are welcome at your girlfriend’s place any time of day or night can make her feel taken for granted. Asking for dates, even if you have been together for a while, helps reduce the risk of becoming a nuisance.

Mind Your Manners

For the most part, asking your significant other out on a date is just good manners. Even though your relationship may not be new, your girlfriend still appreciates time to prepare properly for an outing or event. Asking ahead of time, making plans together, being on time and generally showing she is valued lets her know you respect her needs.

About the Author

Patti Richards has been a writer since 1990. She writes children’s books and articles on parenting, women's health and education. Her credits include San Diego Family Magazine, Metro Parent Magazine, Boys' Quest Magazine and many others. Richards has a Bachelor of Science in English/secondary education from Welch College.

Photo Credits

  • Digital Vision./Photodisc/Getty Images