our everyday life

How to Get a Guy to See You as More Than a Best Bud

by Anthony Oster, studioD

Being seen as more than "just a friend" is a problem both men and women face. However, falling victim to the "friend zone" does not mean that you will remain stranded in platonic friendship purgatory forever. To be seen as more than a friend, you have to be willing to take the risk of shaking up your friendship and showing your guy friend that you are worth dating.

Spend time together and away from groups. Spending time with a group sells the idea that you are just friends. But spending time alone with one another can assist in removing the idea that you are "just one of the guys" or "just hanging out."

Dress to impress. Even if you're typically a jeans and T-shirt kind of girl, make it a point to dress up for your guy friend when you do spend time together. Putting forth this extra effort may show him a side of you that he has not yet seen.

Be flirtatious with him. Flirting behavior can be expressed with both verbal and nonverbal cues. Verbal forms of flirting can include laughing at his jokes and complimenting his looks. Nonverbal behaviors such as touching your hair or making eye contact can be just as powerful, but they are more subdued ways to show interest.

Look for signs of attraction that he is displaying. Just as you can show your interest by flirting, your guy friend may be doing the same to you. Gently touching your hand or shoulder, touching his hair, smiling and making eye contact are all signs that he might be interested in you as well.

Let him know that you are interested in dating him. This may seem like a bold move, but if your guy friend hasn't picked up on your flirtations, then you may need to take the initiative in pursuing a relationship. You can tell him that you are interested in him directly, or surprise him with a kiss.

Know when to walk away. Talking about other girls, deflecting your flirtations and avoiding attempts to be alone with you may be signs that your guy friend is not interested in dating you. Rather than wasting energy on trying to change his mind, spend your time and energy on someone who will reciprocate your feelings.


  • Schedule activities the two of you love. Whether it is playing a round of laser tag or miniature golf, going to an art museum or checking out a new music venue in town, make sure it is something that connects you both.


  • There is always a risk that your guy friend will not reciprocate your feelings for him. If that is the case, you also must decide if your friendship can proceed as is or if you need to take a break from hanging out to reassess your role in his life.

About the Author

Anthony Oster is a licensed professional counselor who earned his Master of Science in counseling psychology at the University of Southern Mississippi. He has served as a writer and lead video editor for a small, South Louisiana-based video production company since 2007. Oster is the co-owner of a professional photography business and advises the owner on hardware and software acquisitions for the company.

Photo Credits

  • Jupiterimages/Comstock/Getty Images