our everyday life

How to Gracefully Get Dumped

by Candice Coleman

You thought it was a romantic afternoon outing -- only to find out it was your partner's opportunity to end your relationship. This can be devastating, especially if there were no warning signs that the relationship was going south. While you may feel angry, betrayed and in shock, how you react can keep the breakup from escalating into an angry split.

During the Breakup

Your partner may be breaking up with you and sprinkling his words with insults and blame, but that does not mean that you should do the same, according to the Emily Post Institute article "Breaking Up." If you find it difficult to restrain yourself, excuse yourself until you feel ready to tackle the conversation again. Asking your partner to reconsider or arguing with his reasons for ending the relationship should also be avoided.

Regrouping Afterward

Allow yourself time to explore all of your emotions -- sadness, relief and anger can all be normal emotions during the grieving process, according to psychotherapist Christine Webber, in the NetDoctor article "How to Get Over Being Dumped." Now is the time to accept that the relationship has ended and your partner is not going to change her mind. Continuing to contact your former partner as though nothing has changed or asking her to be your friend in the hopes that she will later reconsider can also leave you unfulfilled.

Handling the Aftermath

Some newly single people may be eager to venture back into the dating realm, but this is usually best avoided immediately after a breakup, according to the WebMD article "How to Fix a Broken Heart." This is especially true if you are looking to replace your former partner, avoid boredom or make your former partner jealous. Now is also the time to watch your words. Speaking ill of your former partner to friends and family members may mean that your partner eventually hears it himself.

Getting Help

Grief can compel people to do strange things -- but learning how to channel yours properly may keep you from taking any rash or hostile actions toward your ex. Taking note of your former partner's good and bad traits can help you see the relationship in a more balanced way, according to Webber. You may find that your partner's gesture has actually given you a fresh start to find love with a more compatible mate. But if the grief is proving too difficult, or you feel tempted to act out, consider talking to a therapist or counselor for help in handling the breakup.

About the Author

Candice Coleman worked in the public school system as a middle school and high school substitute teacher. In addition to teaching, she is also a tutor for high school and college students.

Photo Credits

  • Thinkstock/Stockbyte/Getty Images