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How Do I Find a Goth Guy to Date?

by Scott Thompson

If you're interested in dating a Goth guy but don't know how to find one, you probably aren't an active participant in the Gothic scene yourself. To find the man you've been looking for, start by finding out more about what it means to be a Goth.

The Goth Subculture

The term "Goth" can mean different things to different Goths. Some embrace the term and some reject it. Some have strong opinions about who is or isn't part of the Gothic subculture, while others don't care. Goth began as a development from the post-punk movement in the 1970s. Fans of groups such as Siouxsie and the Banshees started dressing in spooky-looking outfits such as Victorian-style black dresses or long dark coats along with punk-inspired hairstyles. Now, several distinct styles of music and a wide range of different clothing styles can be considered Goth. The only common denominator is an emphasis on the macabre or the darkly romantic.

Music and Fashion

Because the Gothic subculture is largely defined by music and fashion, research and explore some of the different styles of Goth to determine what aspects of the culture appeal to you most. Some Goth music sounds like heavy metal or industrial music. Some of it sounds like electronic dance music. Some of it sounds like medieval music played on period instruments. If you find a style of Goth music you really enjoy, the easiest way to meet a Goth guy would be to start going to shows and nightclubs where that type of music will be played. Many cities have one or more weekly "Goth nights" at local nightclubs, but successful Goth bands will play shows at other venues too.

Corporate Goths

Goths tend to enjoy horror movies and macabre imagery, but despite the stereotypes most Goths have a sense of humor about it all and may live very ordinary lives outside of the Goth scene. If you notice that a coworker enjoys vampire movies or has a bumper sticker for a Goth band on his car, you could be working with a Goth without knowing it. Only a minority of Goths dress and act the part 24 hours a day. If you're interested in a coworker who you think might be a Goth, knowing something about his favorite band or movie is a good way to get a conversation going.

Dating a Goth

If you're not immersed in the Goth scene yourself, remember that no one wants to be gawked at or objectified. As outlandish as the Goth style may seem to many people, most Goths don't participate in the scene because they crave attention. To make a good impression on a Goth guy, know a little about the music and the subculture and avoid giving the impression that you see him as an exotic thrill because of his preferred style of music and fashion. You don't have to be Goth to date a Goth guy, but you do have to be open-minded and respectful. If you go out to a Goth club hoping to meet someone, you will probably be expected to dress all in black. Some Goth nights have a dress code to encourage participation and discourage people who come just to stare.

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