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How to Be a Good Flirt Texter

by Maura Banar, studioD

Flirting may seem like a form of lighthearted communication, but it can be as important as any other form of conversation. The advent of technology that encourages texting has made this approach to communication a challenge, because you are required to convey and receive messages without verbal cues or body language. Being a good flirt texter therefore means mastering the art of brevity as well as effective communication. The right choice of words and interjections of playful expression of emotion can let the other person know that you find him irresistible.

Send a provocative or suggestive text to the object of your attention. Flirting conveys your interest in more than friendship without being pushy, but it's impossible to assume that the other person truly understands your intentions. Be clear by sending a flirty text such as "Thinking about you, in a good way," combined with a wink. Text a smile or a hand drawn picture of a heart to keep the fires fueled, but leave the rest to his imagination. Keep suggestive texting within your comfort zone and don't suggest things that you don't truly mean.

Send a compliment via text. A compliment creates an atmosphere of optimism and grabs the recipient's attention by pointing out something unique about him. Avoid relying on vague or inaccurate compliments that are usually easy to see through and impossible to retract. Prior to sending the compliment, put some thought into what it is you like, notice or appreciate about him, such as his sense of humor, friendly smile or kindness to strangers. Make the compliment as genuine and as specific as possible, to communicate that you notice him. Send a single compliment and avoid gushing or sending multiple texts which can elicit the wrong reaction.

Share your day with him, via periodic text messages. Text messages can be superficial as well as intimate but with a focus on what you say rather than your body language. Despite this fact, you can convey flirtatious body language by letting him in on what you're doing. Text him, letting him know you're sitting at work, wondering whether he is enjoying his day or that you wish he were enjoying the movie with you. Await his response before sending additional texts after your first message. If he responds quickly and with interest, it's a good sign he is also interested in flirting.

Ask questions. Demonstrating interest can be conveyed by asking him questions about himself. This approach to flirting, explains the Social Issues Research Centre in their online "Guide to Flirting," can be effective if you don't really know someone. In contrast to simple "yes" and "no" closed-ended questions, open-ended questions such as "What kind of music do you enjoy?" can let him know you're interested and provides you with some information about him. If he asks questions in return, he's communicating mutual interest. Balance the questions in this case, with answers. If you and he are already in a relationship, ask questions such as, "What are your thoughts on spending the holidays together?"

About the Author

Maura Banar has been a professional writer since 2001 and is a psychotherapist. Her work has appeared in "Imagination, Cognition and Personality" and "Dreaming: The Journal of the International Association for the Study of Dreams." Banar received her Bachelor of Arts in psychology from Buffalo State College and her Master of Arts in mental health counseling from Medaille College.

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