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How to Be a Good Conversationalist With Your Girlfriend

by Elise Wile

Beloved author Jane Austen wrote, "My idea of good company...is the company of clever, well-informed people, who have a great deal of conversation..." If your girlfriend agrees, then sharpening your conversational skills will help your relationship progress from awkward conversations after a movie to hours-long discourses that last well into the night. Even if you don't think you have the gift of gab, you can become a great conversationalist simply by putting a few strategies into place.

Listen more than you speak, advises communications strategist Robbie Vorhaus on his website. Allow your girlfriend to talk about what's going on in her life and what interests her, even if you don't feel like hearing about the hassle her boss has been giving her yet again. In fact, encourage her to elaborate -- and she's likely to think you're the best conversationalist ever.

Ask questions, and make them open-ended. For example, rather than asking, "Did you have a good day at work," and possibly getting an answer of "Yes" or "Sort of," ask her, "How did your 10 o'clock meeting go?" She'll appreciate your interest and the conversation will flow.

Keep up with what's going on in the world. You don't have to spend all day reading a newspaper, but simply glancing at a social media feed can often tell you enough of what you need to know to keep your conversation current. For example, if your girlfriend asks you what you think about the protesters at the Texas state capitol building, it's good to be able to offer an opinion rather than giving her a blank stare.

Remember the funny jokes you hear and work them into your conversation when appropriate. Your girlfriend will likely appreciate your good sense of humor and ability to lighten the conversation when it begins to feel too heavy. Stay away from crude jokes, however. Stick to stories like the time the squirrel attacked you in your driveway as you were getting out of your car or the one-liner you heard at work that made you laugh out loud.

Keep your conversation upbeat, as people are naturally drawn to individuals with a positive attitude, advises licensed clinical social worker Maud Purcell in an article for the PsychCentral website. If you find the conversation heading in the wrong direction, liven things up by noting how amazing the tacos are at the new restaurant down the street or remarking on the stunning sunset.

Warnings

  • Avoid interrupting. This gives the impression that you are not interested in what your girlfriend has to say.
  • Resist the urge to tell your girlfriend every detail about the time you had gastrointestinal surgery. Some things are best kept private.

About the Author

Elise Wile has been a writer since 2003. Holding a master's degree in curriculum and Instruction, she has written training materials for three school districts. Her expertise includes mentoring, serving at-risk students and corporate training.

Photo Credits

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