Rekindling an old romance can be exhilarating, awe-inspiring and worrisome all at the same time. Giving your relationship a second shot requires that you take a close look at your previous dating experiences, try to learn from your past mistakes and assume that your ex has also grown from his previous dating experiences since you split. Rebuilding your relationship may require that both you and your ex spend time rebuilding trust, moving beyond your past and learning to love one another again.
Evaluate what went wrong the first time around. Regardless of whether your previous relationship ended because you did not spend enough time with each other, you did not take the relationship seriously or there were issues with arguing or infidelity, making your second attempt at a relationship a success requires that you not fall into the same behaviors from your first attempt.
Clearly outline what you expect from your partner this time around. Your ex will likely have several expectations that he believes are important to successfully rekindling your relationship as well.
Let go of the past. While part of rekindling your relationship involves learning from your past, if you have chosen to try your hand at a new relationship with your ex, don't hold on to old arguments from your previous dating experience. After discussing what you feel went wrong the last time, give your ex the chance to prove that he has changed and is willing to work on the relationship.
Look for signs of change in your ex. Change does not happen easily or quickly, which is something that you should take into account when reevaluating your relationship. If it appears that your boyfriend has not changed his tune and is falling back into old habits, it may be time to reconsider remaining in your rekindled relationship.
- Psychology Today: Rekindling an Old Flame or Not
- Journal of Sex Research: Emotional and Physical Satisfaction in Noncohabiting, Cohabiting, and Marital Relationships: The Importance of Jealous Conflict
- Journal of Social and Personal Relationships: The Ex-files: Trajectories, Turning Points, and Adjustment in the Development of Post-Dissolutional Relationships
- Journal of Adolescent Research: Relationship Churning in Emerging Adulthood On/Off Relationships and Sex With an Ex
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