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How to Help a Girl Friend With Guy Problems

by Diane Steinbach

Helping a friend with guy problems seems to be one of the basic requirements of being a good girlfriend. Whether it's just being a shoulder to cry on or a companion for movies or shopping, a good friend can help put a relationship in perspective and create new patterns of behavior to help break the love addiction. No matter what age, a girlfriend can be the ultimate relationship therapist.

Listen. Be that shoulder to cry on without giving unasked advice. Allow your girlfriend to vent, cry, rant and work out her issues with her guy while simply talking out her thoughts with you. Don't feel as if you have to fix it, just be there to listen.

Help her make out a Pro and Con list. If she is debating whether or not to break up with her guy, help her make out a pro and con list of all the good things about him and the bad things about the relationship to help her clarify her thoughts and make her decision logically.

Give her some reading material. Books such as, "He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys" by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo and "How to Heal a Broken Heart in 30 Days: A Day-by-Day Guide to Saying Good-bye and Getting On With Your Life" by Howard Bronson and Mike Riley provide good advice and the occasional laugh for those dealing with a break-up.

Hand her a journal. Writing out her feelings will help her rid herself of destructive thought cycles and allow her to put her feelings down on paper and away before bedtime or anytime she feels overwhelmed with her guy problems.

Distract her. Spend time together and begin some new adventures, including taking a class together, going to the gym, or taking on a new hobby or sport. By introducing something new to your friend, you help her put her guy problems into perspective and allow her to make good relationship decisions.

Identify her overall goals. Discuss with your friend her goals for the future and how that guy in her life would either help support her in her goals or limit her ability to meet them. By discussing things, she gains more perspective about her guy problems and this gives her more information to base a decision about the relationship.

Be the emergency call to help her break the habits related to him. If she is breaking up with her guy, help her remove his phone number from her cell phone and tell her to call you when she has that craving for his contact. Just as quitting any other vice, breaking the habit of talking to her guy just takes time and an alternate behavior.

Items you will need
  • Paper
  • Pen
  • Books
  • Blank journal
  • Access to a gym or classes

Tip

  • Encourage your friend to calmly talk out her problems with her guy and to clearly tell him what she wants and expects. Communication is key in any relationship, and if she still doesn't get what she wants, it may be time to help her move on.

Warning

  • Don't badmouth the guy or advise directly, as if she goes back to dating the guy, she'll remember what you had said and may hold it against you.