our everyday life

How to Get a Girl Back After Blowing the First Date

by Lauri Revilla, studioD

Blowing your first date does not mean that you lost the girl you like. Whether the environment wasn't right or you were not your normal self that day, you deserve a second chance to make a good impression. Your date will be more open to a second date if she sees the possibility that things will go differently and that there is more to you than the person she met.

Examine the reasons why your date was a disaster. Ask yourself if you came off as rude or disengaged because you were nervous or stressed out. Analyze if poor planning on your part led to the date being chaotic or disastrous. Consider that your date might have looked bored or detached because she was not interested in the conversation topics or felt uncomfortable. Think about how you will do things differently if you do go on a second date.

Call her and apologize for the unpleasant first date. Tell her that you would like a second opportunity to show her your true self. Invite her to do something that is completely different than what you did on your first date. If you felt that you were rude on the first date, apologize and explain why you acted that way. Give her a chance to share her gripes about the first date, and show that you are open to doing things on her terms the second time you go out.

Present the best version of yourself on the second date. Plan the activity well ahead of time. Show your kind, honest and pleasant side throughout the date to erase the bad first impression. Honesty is a trait that is highly valued and can even make you more attractive in her eyes. In a study titled "You Are Honest, Therefore I Like You and Find You Attractive" published in the June 2006 issue of the "Journal of Research in Personality," participants read a personality description and were then shown a photograph of the person. Individuals with honesty listed as a personality trait were rated as more attractive than the others.

Avoid being too overzealous or pushy on your second date. Try to relax and enjoy the date. Focus on the present moment rather than letting your mind wander to worries. In his article "Is Your Personality Making You More or Less Physically Attractive?" for "Psychology Today," Jeremy Nicholson, a social and personality psychologist, recommends keeping it "low pressure" when you are getting to know a potential partner by engaging in light conversation and showing your traits before you start hinting at romance. Keeping it light will relieve the pressure and allow both of you to have fun together.

About the Author

Lauri Revilla has been writing articles on mental health, wellness, relationships and lifestyle for more than six years. She moved to San Antonio, Texas, from Mexico in 2006. She holds a Master of Science in Psychology from Our Lady of the Lake University.

Photo Credits

  • Jupiterimages/Photos.com/Getty Images