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How to Get Over a Friend's Betrayal

by Leslie Miller

Making friends that you can trust is a challenging task. Someone who really cares about you and loves you is the best gift you can get in friendship. We trust our friends with everything including our secrets and believe that they will never betray us. However, your most trusted friend can throw you into a tailspin with betrayal. Although betrayal can be a bitter pill, dealing with it can help you reinvent yourself within this distressing period.

Recognize the Problem

Determine if the whole issue was a misjudgment. You can easily get emotional with your friends and make rushed conclusions. Take a step back to analyze the situation and to help you understand the underlying causes of betrayal. This will also make forgiveness and apologies easier to attain. There are many reasons why friends might betray you. Sometimes their betrayal might be intended to hurt you. Once you find the reason for their betrayal, you will be able to move to the next step.

Accept the Situation

Betrayal might seem hard to come into terms with. For instance, your friend might have stolen from you, slept with your partner or even shared your secrets. You can give in to the embarrassment, anger and frustration. However, in her article on the Psychology Today website, Liane Holliday suggest that you do this for a while, not forever. It might be helpful if you do something that will transfer your anger. Once your anger is released, accept that you can't reverse your friend's actions and let the bubble fly away.

Take Action

Decide on the future of your friendship. Working through your emotions will help you decide whether you want the friendship to continue and also define the terms. Depending on the situation, choose to forget or at least forgive your friend for her betrayal. Although forgetting is difficult, it is easy to work on forgiveness. Remember your friend's failure is not related to you. Perceive her behavior as a weaknesses that could affect any of her friends and not just you. This way, you will be able to determine what works best for you.

Learn and Move on

Consider your friend's betrayal as a life lesson. This will help you to prevent a similar event from occurring in future. In her article in the Huffington Post, Christine Hassler, a life coach, asserts that people learn a lot through challenges. Be ready to own your role in the situation. Remember everyone has her own journey with varying lessons. You don't have to agree with your friends' actions all the time. With betrayal, you might feel like a fool, stupid or duped. Remember that you did the best you could do.

About the Author

Leslie Miller is an expert in parenting issues, social, family and relationship issues. Currently, she is blogging on these issues for those seeking guidance and insight for everyday challenges. Miller is the founder of www.therapyontheweb.org, which was developed for individuals who seek the convenience and privacy of telephone and the internet.

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