When a relationship ends, it's hard on both people involved. Sometimes one person quickly moves on to a new relationship in order to deal with the pain from the breakup. If your ex-girlfriend is in a relationship with a new guy, it's likely driving you crazy, particularly if you still love her. While it can be a difficult and time-consuming process, you can take steps to get your girlfriend back from another man. Make sure to exercise good judgment and patience in the process. You want to win her back, not alienate her further with rash behavior.
Examine the reasons that you two broke up. You must be able to learn from the experience if you hope to have a solid relationship with her again. Consider if you handled the situation poorly, and if so, how you can improve on such behavior. Acknowledge things you did wrong and establish ways to improve communication between you two.
Respect her boundaries. While honesty is essential, hold back on professing your continued love. Instead, approach her slowly and re-establish contact. Start with an email or phone call just to chat. She will appreciate your respect and patience.
Work on the friendship. The basis for any good romantic relationship is a solid friendship. Try to put your romantic feelings aside initially and just be a good friend to her.
Be honest with her. Don't play games and try to make her jealous. Instead, opt for a straightforward approach. Tell her you still care for her but don't pressure her. If she seems uncomfortable with your revelation, back off temporarily. You can then bring up the subject again further down the road.
Show her that you've changed. Reveal that you learned from your breakup and are putting forth the effort to be a better person. If poor communication was a reason for the breakup, take time to really listen to what she has to say on a regular basis. When she sees that you have taken things to heart, she may reconsider a relationship with you.
Maintain an active life outside of her. If you are merely pining for her, it's unlikely she'll find you that attractive. Recapture your independence and be your own person. When you have a lot of things going on, she'll find you more interesting. In addition to your job and friends, find some other things to fill your time. Take up a new hobby or learn a new skill.
Avoid criticizing her current man. Ripping on her current boyfriend just makes you look bad. Instead, show her why you're the better guy for her by being a solid friend in her life.
Think of small things you can do to show her you care. Pick up a copy of her favorite band's new CD on its release date, or help her carry in her groceries. Aim for thoughtful little acts of kindness. Don't buy her extravagant gifts as this will likely make her feel uncomfortable.
- Roel van Eekelen/Demand Media