Reinvigorating a relationship requires time, effort and patience, but it is doable. The process takes communication and agreement, as well as the dedication to make necessary changes. Working together, you and your partner will see your frozen relationship thaw and become more fulfilling.
Thawing Your Relationship
Agree to work on the relationship. The process begins when you and your partner are on the same page. Unless you both want to make the relationship better, it will not happen. Both of you must be involved and dedicated to changing your relationship for the better.
Discuss what you would like to change about the relationship. You cannot problem solve without knowing what the problems are, so each partner should address what he or she would like to change. Use a direct, positive approach, with each partner discussing issues he or she wishes to change. For instance, you may feel you and your partner do not spend enough quality time together. A direct, positive approach to this issue could look like this: "I feel that we do not spend enough time together and it has become a serious issue. But I also feel our relationship will improve if we have more quality time, so I am willing to work with you to come up with a solution to this issue."
Problem solve. Work with your partner. Without communication, you will have different solutions to your issues. Working together, you will create mutually agreeable solutions.
Make a plan. Create a plan that stems from your solutions and allows you to implement them. Instead of just leaving the changes in your head, write them down and create steps to resolving your issues. For instance, if you desire to spend more quality time together, create a schedule to do so.
Implement your plan. Create a system to track your goals. By having a record of your progress, you and your partner are better able to assess change. This record will also boost your confidence in making changes, especially when you are successful. Hold yourself and your partner accountable for implementing the plan.
- If you find it too difficult to solve your problems alone, seek marriage therapy. Counselors are trained to help you resolve issues. While all therapists can help, marriage and family therapists are specifically trained to help couples change for the better.
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