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How to Forget an Infatuation

by Maura Banar, studioD

Infatuation isn't necessarily a bad thing and in fact, it is a part of nearly everyone's approach to relationships at one time or another. An infatuation is typically fueled by the arousal of your emotions that can feel like euphoria. This is in contrast to deeper levels of communicating in which you perform the "dance" of relating with your mind and not so much your heart. Ideally and usually, infatuation resolves itself and you're able to find a genuine connection, but it can feel like a challenge to move forward.

Connect with Your Social Supports

Reach out and spend time communicating and enjoying the company of friends and family members, who can help you process your feelings of infatuation. Social supports can also give you a "reality check," by pointing out the viability of a future with the target of your infatuation and help you avoid feeling alone, which can lead to further engagement with your feelings of infatuation. This can encourage you to recognize that you can not only live, but thrive, without the object of your infatuation.

Distract Yourself

Engage in new or old activities, hobbies or interests to distract your energy away from thinking excessively about your crush. Focusing your energies on a new activity can also support healthy self-esteem and provides you with opportunities to connect with other people. Changing your routines can lead to a change in your mindset and over time and with enough distraction, you may wonder why you were so focused on your crush for so long.

Change Your Expectations

Identify and challenge your current beliefs about relationships. Infatuation, unlike deeper levels of relating to another person, is often based on an ideal version of a partner. This can lead to difficulty in seeing the "bigger picture," or the true nature of the object of your infatuation. When you feel infatuated with someone, he or she may seem perfect but no person is perfect. Looking more critically at your crush can also help you train your eye and your emotions in identifying qualities you truly want in a significant other.

Learn to Enjoy Your Own Company

Get comfortable being by yourself. Infatuation can be born out of a discomfort with being alone. After all, it may be a bit easier to struggle through brief periods of isolation if you believe your crush may someday fill those empty emotional places. Learning to enjoy your favorite activities independently may help you feel less like you desperately need the company of another. When you do seek and find a genuine relationship, keep in mind that "needing" your partner's company in order to not feel alone places a lot of unnecessary pressure on another person.

About the Author

Maura Banar has been a professional writer since 2001 and is a psychotherapist. Her work has appeared in "Imagination, Cognition and Personality" and "Dreaming: The Journal of the International Association for the Study of Dreams." Banar received her Bachelor of Arts in psychology from Buffalo State College and her Master of Arts in mental health counseling from Medaille College.

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