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How to Fix Trust in a Relationship

by Crystal Lassen

After trust is broken, your partner is likely to harbor animosity, which could heighten if the problem is ignored or approached in a defensive manner. In an effort to diffuse the situation, confess your guilt to your partner as soon as possible. Time is a major factor in many relationship situations, and if you attempt to hide your guilt, the result could be more severe when your partner discovers your mistake. Confess your guilt up front in a sincere and calm manner. If the conversation starts out with elevated voices and harsh words, reconciliation is less likely.

Mending Broken Trust

Seek introspection. Try to pinpoint what personal issues cased the breach of trust. Be quick to take responsibility for your actions. Don't place blame on anyone else. By taking the complete blame for your actions, you are conveying the importance of your relationship to your partner and your mature stance. This may also help prove your overall trustworthiness to your significant other or friend.

Apologize to your partner. Choose your statements carefully so you do not place blame on anyone else. Loaded apologies are not apologies and only reveal an immature attitude. Be ready to discuss the problem and what caused it. Both parties should ask questions and be prepared to analyze the relationship. If need be, seek professional help from a relationship specialist who can mediate and possibly diffuse a tense situation. Also, books concerning self-discovery and relationship issues are helpful. Decide if the relationship is salvageable after an extensive relationship evaluation occurs.

Keep communication open and be ready for multiple discussions. Your partner will likely be upset and will need to revisit the topic after the first discussion. Once trust is broken, only time and growth can heal the wound. Decide exactly what should change in the relationship and the steps necessary to make that vision a reality. Take necessary steps to follow through with an agreement that seems acceptable to both parties. Conversing is important but means very little if there are no core changes to the behavioral patterns of the faulty party.

Release the problem once forgiveness is offered. Holding onto angry feelings and harboring doubts will only lead to future problems of a similar nature. Face future problems as soon as possible. The longer problems are ignored, often the worse they become.

Items you will need
  • Counselor
  • Self-help books

About the Author

Crystal Lassen hails from Kansas City, Mo. and has been a book critic since 2008. Her reviews have appeared on the Publisher's Weekly website and are largely concerned with current events. She holds a Bachelor of Arts degree in English with an emphasis in creative writing from The University of Kansas.

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