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How to Get a Fallen Relationship Back on Its Feet

by Kristen Moutria, studioD

It takes work on the part of both parties to get a fallen relationship back on track. If you are with someone who does not excite you the way he used to, or who causes you more stress than pleasure, you may feel there is little hope for your relationship. In truth, you might need to do a little soul-searching and re-examine the way you are approaching the seemingly hopeless situation to find a way back to happiness. By following a few basic steps, you can become close to your partner again and restore your relationship to what it used to be.

Learn how to communicate. Erika Krull notes on PsychCentral that good communication is the foundation of a healthy marriage. She states that many marriages could be saved if spouses improved their communication skills. Your bad relationship could be due in part to poor communication with your partner; learning how to talk to her is the first step to restoring your relationship. If you find it difficult to voice what you are feeling, try writing your feelings down and showing your notes to her.

Forgive each other. Both you and your partner have done things to hurt the other. Instead of holding a grudge and choosing to be angry, let go of your husband's offenses and give him a chance to show you that he loves you. Rose Sweet reports in Focus on the Family that by forgiving those who have hurt you, you release pain and are freed from focusing on what the person did to offend you.

Resist competing with your partner. Although you may be constantly surrounded by competition, it has no place in a relationship, especially in a marriage. Erika Krull suggests that if you feel you are in competition with your partner, ask yourself why you feel the need to win. Emotional insecurities may be causing you to need to feel better than your significant other. Instead of trying to make yourself feel better by making your partner feel worse, share your insecurities with her and find comfort in her encouraging words. You will be happier when you see your partner as someone on your side rather than as someone on the opposite team.

Spend time together. In his book, "Take Back Your Marriage," William Doherty explains that many married couples live with a chronic sense of deficit about the amount of time they spend together as a couple. Instead of zoning out in front of the television or becoming engrossed in a book, make the decision to spend more of your free time getting to know your spouse. Whether the two of you have an intimate conversation, go on a walk together or just watch a movie together, the moments you choose to spend with one another instead of doing something apart will make a positive difference in your relationship.


  • If taking these steps is not enough to restore your relationship, consider marital counseling for issues you cannot solve on your own.


About the Author

Kristen Moutria has a Bachelor of Arts in psychology from Evangel University. She is currently pursuing her Master of Arts in education from the University of Nebraska.

Photo Credits

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