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What Factors Contribute to Successful Marriages?

by David Stewart

A successful marriage doesn't just happen. It takes commitment and perseverance. By following a few guidelines and keeping a few simple factors in mind, that honeymoon bliss can turn into a deep and lasting love that transcends life's challenges and frustrations. When you marry, you become a team of two. By being good team players, the two of you can have a successful marriage.

Commitment

A commitment to stick to the relationship through thick and thin is crucial to a successful marriage. Unless one spouse is abusive, unfaithful or given to addictions, a couple must strive to solve every problem between them. One way to ensure this is to have a no-divorce philosophy. When divorce is not an option, the motivation to work through difficulties is stronger. Remember that every relationship has challenges as you go through the phases and stages of life. When you work through it, instead of going around it, you strengthen your marital bonds.

Respect Each Other

True love has respect as its foundation and is one of the age-old secrets to a healthy and lasting marriage. Partners must display a healthy respect for each other’s personalities, feelings and expectations. Listening to each other’s views or preferences and working together to face life’s challenges are all marks of respect.

Realistic Expectations

Accept that neither you or your partner is perfect. Patience, tolerance and good communication can get you through the sticky times. Misunderstandings and differences of opinion are bound to happen. When you approach these times with a sincere desire to work it out and let it go, you build trust. Being realistic also involves acknowledging the positive attributes each of you brings to the relationship. You could call these your intangible assets. For example, if one of you is better at managing money than the other, draw upon this skill to help you as a couple.

Honest Communication

Express your thoughts and needs to your partner. Use "I" statements and avoid pointing fingers, which leads to defensive, nonproductive behaviors. Honest communication not only addresses problems, but also compliments and acknowledges your partners positive contributions to the relationship and to the quality of your life.

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