You thought your relationship was going forward swimmingly -- until your former partner said otherwise. Facing a breakup can be difficult, especially if you did not see it coming. While you may feel angry and betrayed, learning how to control these emotions in a mature way can result in a big payout -- both with this relationship and relationships in the future.
During the Breakup
When those few words come out, you may find your mind racing - and your heart broken. No matter how your partner handles the breakup, it is best to avoid assigning blame or insulting your partner when breaking up, according to the Emily Post Institute article, "Breaking Up." If you feel you cannot control yourself, excuse yourself from the conversation until you can regain your composure.
Handling the Aftermath
After a relationship ends, you may be left feeling poorly about yourself and the future. Enlist family members and friends to remind you of your best traits, and taking time to evaluate what was good - and bad - about your relationship may help you see more clearly, according to the "Huffington Post" article, "Dealing With a Breakup: 7 Healthy Ways to Cope with Post-Split Stress." Writing out your thoughts may also help you handle the breakup in a more rational way.
What to Avoid
After your partner leaves, you may find a large pool of attractive, suitable mates. However, rebounding into another relationship can be unfair for both you and your new partner, especially if revenge or heartbreak is your primary motivator, according to psychotherapist Barton Goldsmith, in the "Psychology Today" article, "10 Tips to Survive a Break-Up." Seeking any kind of revenge on your partner, or acting out to get his attention, can also be damaging.
A breakup can understandably leave you feeling betrayed and angry - but watch your words, as they may find a way of getting back to your ex-partner. The same is also true if you hear your partner speaking ill of you - it is best not to respond in kind. If you find yourself unsure of how to approach your breakup maturely or how to heal from it, you may want to talk to a relationship counselor or therapist for more help, according to psychotherapist Christine Webber, in the "NetDoctor" article, "How to Get Over Being Dumped."
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