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How to Establish Trust With Your Husband

by Tamara Runzel, studioD

Trust is a key ingredient for a successful, happy marriage. Establishing trust with your husband leads to more respect, love, communication and intimacy in your relationship, says therapist Sharon M. Rivkin in an article for “hitched" magazine. Without trust, you’re more likely to jump to conclusions, get frustrated and angry and possibly even face a failed marriage, according to Focus on the Family. It's critical to build trust with your husband, whether you’re establishing it in the initial stages of marriage or you’re rebuilding it after it was destroyed.

Be yourself. Don’t put on a front in any of your actions. When your husband sees you frustrated, happy, tired or angry, it builds intimacy because it’s the real you.

Let your husband take the reins in planning dates or vacations if he doesn’t already. This shows that you trust him to make even minor decisions in your marriage.

Keep your promises. If you said you’ll be somewhere at a certain time or do something for your husband, make sure you keep your word.

Tell your husband about any changes in your routine to avoid suspicion. If you’re starting something new, such as hitting the gym regularly, tell him beforehand and explain why.

Show a trustworthy attitude toward your husband. Ask him if there is anything you have done that isn’t trustworthy. It might be something that seems insignificant to you, such as a critical reaction when your spouse admits a weakness, but it erodes his trust in you. Also, ask him to point out any areas you need to work on to establish more trust.

Tell the truth. Even a small lie is still a lie. This includes honesty in every area, including who you talk to, who you hang out with, where you spent money and what you talk about.

Communicate often and honestly. Ask questions so there aren’t any misunderstandings between the two of you. Listen to your husband’s views and keep an open mind when he reveals his feelings.

Confide in your husband. If you had a frustrating day at work or a disappointing conversation with a family member, talk to him about it. If you’re more open with your husband, he’s more likely to be open with you.

Keep a fair attitude in arguments. This means staying on topic, avoiding any insults and sticking to the facts.

Join a support group to help with any issues that might have led to broken trust.

Avoid constantly bringing up the past, which only creates obstacles to establishing trust.

Talk about accountability with each other, and discuss consequences for any broken trust in the future.

About the Author

Tamara Runzel has been writing military, parenting, family and relationship articles since 2008. Runzel started in television news, followed by education before deciding to be a stay at home mom. Her articles have appeared in military publications as well as numerous online publications. She holds a Bachelor of Arts in communication from University of the Pacific.

Photo Credits

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