our everyday life

How to Encourage Your Boyfriend to Give You a Massage

by C. Giles, studioD

Giving and receiving massages can work wonders for a relationship. It can bring you closer and reduce stress, says Aubrey Rogers, owner of City Magnolia Day Spa in Frederick, Maryland. If your boyfriend isn't confident about giving you a massage, or you are too shy to come right out and ask for one, why not give him one first? Hopefully you will both enjoy the experience and it will encourage him to return the favor.

Create a romantic, comfortable setting in your bedroom for your massages. Dim the lights and put on some soothing music. Make sure the room isn't too cold or too hot. Turn off your cell phones so that you won't be disturbed. Tell your boyfriend that you are going to give him a massage and that you want him to relax and enjoy it. Place towels on the bed or the floor, depending on how hard a surface you want to use.

Ask your boyfriend to remove his top and lie down on his back. Focus on his face and head first. Sit cross-legged at his head and use your fingertips to stroke his forehead, moving outward from the center to his temples. Apply long strokes down his nose and across his chin. Massage his head in circular motions, gently pulling at the roots of his hair.

Ask your boyfriend to turn over and lie face down. Pour a little massage oil onto your palms and rub them together to heat the oil. Knead his neck and upper back muscles with your thumbs. Maintain contact at all times, because a break in contact leads to a break in relaxation, states Rogers. Make sure all massage actions move toward the heart to increase blood circulation.

Knead your boyfriend's shoulders and apply long strokes down each of his arms. Massage each of his hands with your fingertips, finishing with a deep press on each one. Stroke his lower back with long, smooth strokes, avoiding the spine. Ask your boyfriend if it feels good and check how much pressure he wants you to apply. Some people love a deep, forceful massage while others prefer a much softer touch. Respond to his needs and you will both enjoy the experience all the more, advises Robert Vance, spa director at the Sanctuary On Camelback Mountain Resort & Spa in Paradise Valley, Arizona.

Ask your boyfriend to try some massage techniques on you. Professional masseur Denis Markas recommends what he calls "The 5 Minute Technique." Practice a particular massage technique on your boyfriend for no longer than five minutes and then change places so he can practice the same technique on you for the same length of time. Carry on swapping and practicing different techniques. This is a great way to develop confidence in the art of massage.

Tell your boyfriend how great it feels when he massages you. Make plenty of "ooh" and "ahh" noises while he touches you, which will boost his confidence in his massaging abilities and hopefully make him want to massage you more often.

Items you will need
  •  Towels
  •  Massage oil


  • Pure essential oils go right into the blood stream, so avoid using these if you are pregnant or have a serious medical condition.

About the Author

C. Giles is a writer with an MA (Hons) in English literature and a post-graduate diploma in law. Her work has been published in several publications, both online and offline, including "The Herald," "The Big Issue" and "Daily Record."

Photo Credits

  • Brand X Pictures/Brand X Pictures/Getty Images