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How to Empathize With Your Girlfriend

by Kristen Moutria, studioD

Being able to empathize with your girlfriend may be the key to having a wonderful and fulfilling relationship with her. According to an article from the American Psychological Association, women tend to be happier in relationships when men can feel their pain and know when they are feeling upset. Learning how to tell when your girlfriend is feeling down will help both you and her feel more satisfied in your relationship, as well as keep you close for years to come.

Actively listen to your girlfriend. It is very important to listen carefully as your girlfriend expresses what is distressing her. Although you may be tempted to offer advice, such interruptions may only cause your girlfriend to feel that you are not actually listening to what she is saying. When she feels that you are taking in everything she has to say, she will feel comfortable in knowing that you truly understand what she is going through.

Ask for more information. As your girlfriend speaks to you, try to discern the reasons behind the emotions she is feeling. If she tells you she is angry or bitter, make sure to find out the underlying cause of her pain. She will then most probably be grateful for the opportunity to expand on what is bothering her, and you can help her get some clarity on the situation.

Do not judge your girlfriend's feelings. Judging what your girlfriend is experiencing will only cause her to shut down and resist telling you more. If you indicate that her emotions are too extreme, or that she is overly sensitive, you may cause her to feel even more burdened than she already does, instead of helping ease the burden as you intended. Resist judging your girlfriend and instead just be open to her sharing her emotional moments and sensitive times with you. As a result, she will feel loved and accepted.

Be patient with your girlfriend. Whatever your girlfriend has expressed to you, it is important to show patience and understanding every step of the way. Although you may not understand why she continues to feel a certain way despite your efforts to listen and empathize, showing impatience will only cause her to feel closed off from you. Instead, demonstrate that you will be there for her no matter how long it takes her to recover from the pain she is feeling. In return, she will appreciate your genuine efforts to bring her happiness.


  • Be patient with yourself when it comes to empathizing with your girlfriend. Listening is a skill that takes time to learn, and as you practice, you will become much better at it.

About the Author

Kristen Moutria has a Bachelor of Arts in psychology from Evangel University. She is currently pursuing her Master of Arts in education from the University of Nebraska.

Photo Credits

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