our everyday life

The Effects of Separation & Divorce on a Family

by Todd Bowerman

A divorce is a traumatic event for any family. Each person deals with the divorce in his own way, but as a rule, a divorce can cause emotional and psychological trauma. Many children have a hard time understanding the divorce, while the former couple will experience a wide range of emotions related to the end of their marriage. Understanding some of the common effects of a divorce can help your family get through this difficult time.

Confusion

Children often feel confused over what caused the divorce, and what it means for them. If you are getting a divorce and there are children in your family, it is critical to spend time with them and listen to their questions. Be as honest as possible and help them understand the divorce is not their fault. Children will need a lot of emotional support to successfully navigate a divorce.

Resentment

It is not uncommon for a spouse or even a child to resent the other member of the relationship. Couples like to play the blame game when a divorce comes around, and sometimes accidentally pit their children against one another in the process. If your family is going through a divorce, try to stay civil and recognize that the issue is not because of one thing or the other, but an overall incompatibility.

Hopelessness

Children can feel powerless over the direction of their family. They usually want parents to stay together and try to find ways to solve the problem. This can lead them to a state of hopelessness. Ex-spouses can also feel this way; finding out the person you married was not right for you can have a lasting effect on how you approach relationships in the future. Stay positive and your family can push through these feelings.

Parenting Issues

After a divorce, some parents lower their standards for their child's behavior and school performance. These parents may suffer from an inability to separate their needs from that of their child, which can have serious consequences if not quickly rectified. Some children can end up as caretakers of their own parents as they deal with the emotional fallout from a divorce. Stay strong for your kids to prevent this from occurring.