So you are not sure what to look for or how to go about it but something just does not seem right with your spouse. This article will give you the steps to either confirm or eliminate drugs as a possibility in your marital life.
Any fight with an addiction can be challenging but it is something that you have to address to live better. You have to stop ignoring the obvious and open your eyes to your surroundings. Ask yourself the following.
Not all addicts have used drugs previously or will continue to use in the future but this being know addiction is a lifetime battle. That being said prior drug use could be a factor in using drugs in the present. If your spouse has prior drug use do not assume that they have automatically relapsed but also don't lead yourself into the belief that it can not happen again. There will always be the option, when and if depends on what they chose not what you do. It is always ultimately their choice.
Has your spouse made changes to their daily schedule, which is outside of their normal behavior? Do they show up when they say they are going to? Showing up late from time to time is not a sign of drug use but rather poor planning. If the person makes constant promises to be somewhere or do something and does not then they could be more entertained by using. There are some people who we all know that will be late even to their own funeral but remember we are looking for signs outside of the behavior that is normal for them.
Does your spouse disappear at odd times in the middle of the day without so much as saying a word? To the garage, to the basement, to the neighbor's house....they have a favorite spot and a favorite time no matter how hard they try to hide it. Cravings hit a pregnant woman why would they not hit an addict? Some cigarette smokers always smoke after a big meal there is a trigger here, find it. Maybe it is fighting with you. It is different for everyone.
Does anything come up randomly missing in your house? This could be especially something that they try to convince you that you have misplaced and refuse to help you look for it. They won't look for it because they know exactly where it went ....away. You should accept these things; money or objects as additional victims of the disease and chalk it up as a learning experience. The answer is yes, even your own wedding ring.
Is their emotional behavior different? Many users become aggressive when they are looking for their next fix and can not find the means. Others are withdrawn when they are high. When approached about things that seem out of the normal most addicts are full of excuses, fictitious stories, and down right anger. BE CAREFUL here.
The biggest sign of drug use is paraphernalia. Anything and I mean anything can be used as a vehicle to use drugs. Look for the more obvious and this will help you find the not so obvious. The short list: • Soda cans crunched with pin holes in them. • Broken Antenna ends • Pens that are taken apart with no innards left to speak of • Broken light bulbs that never make it into the trash • Brillo pads copper type • Anything glass that has an opening on two ends • Anything with black residue like a lighter has been held to it a long time • Burns on the person's fingers • Mirrors, smaller type made usually for shaving • Razor blades • Baking soda in strange places or baggies, used to cut some drugs Try this, clean your house of all of these items and take them to a trash that your spouse does not have access to. Work or somewhere public like the gas station when they are not with you is a good start. See if similar items start appearing.
Items you will need
- Be Calm
- a level head
- a doctor's visit(optional)
- Never address the issue while the person is known to be high as behavior is unpredictable at best.
- Your health and safety and your children's is the main priority. If you can't keep their environment safe then make changes to do so at another location.
- While it is hard to approach someone without being accusing when things are touchy remember not to enable while searching for the signs of drug use.
- DO NOT approach someone who is high as behavior can be unpredictable.
- If your an addict recovered or not and reading this and it upset you, good, I lived with an addicted spouse and maybe it will help you in your recovery and maybe it won't... to each their own.