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How to Deal With a Vindictive Ex-Wife

by Jasmine Henry

The necessity of communicating with an angry ex-wife after divorce can prove to be emotionally draining and difficult. Shared custody of children or division of property can necessitate frequent contact. Communicating with kindness can be key to preventing an escalated conflict. Set definitive boundaries for the relationship after divorce, enlisting a professional mediator if possible. Physical or verbal abuse or property damage are illegal. Contact local law enforcement if any illegal activities or threats occur.

Communicate wishes to improve the relationship calmly and politely. Express a desire to improve the interactions and act upon this wish. Avoid using accusatory language, a raised voice or defensive body language in conversations.

Establish boundaries for the relationship and communication. Enlisting a professional mediator can significantly aid in this process, if both parties are willing to make the effort. Agree on boundaries for phone calls, visits and conversations aside from topics directly related to shared custody. Uphold the agreement fully to indicate respect for all involved parties.

Avoid criticizing or offering unsolicited advice. Though raising children in separate households can be extremely difficult, criticizing the ex-wife's lifestyle can easily lead to conflict. Focus on controlling your own household and avoid using children as spies.

Refuse to accept illegal, dangerous or harmful behavior. Emotions can run high following a divorce and it is never necessary to allow abusive actions. Contact law enforcement immediately regarding any threats or damage, or suspected endangerment of minors.

About the Author

Jasmine Henry has been a professional freelance writer since 2008. She has published literary criticism in the academic journal "The Birch." Henry holds a Bachelor of Arts in Russian and environmental science from Willamette University in Salem, Ore.

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