our everyday life

How to Deal With Pushy People

by braniac

Have you ever met a nosy person? Perhaps, you have only met this person once and already they are ready to pick out curtains and invite themselves over for dinner. Although, you don't want to be rude, a pushy person is the person that can't read subtle hints such as; yawning, looking at your watch every ten minutes, or knocking people over just to answer the phone only to find a telemarketer at the other end. You would rather talk to the telemarketer, than to spend another agonizing minute with the person who is forcing their way into your life. I will suggest a few steps that will enable you to handle a pushy- person.

Be Polite and Kind

Be polite- You can tell how far you want a friendship or relationship to go within the first five minutes of speaking to someone. The first five minutes will determine if you exchange numbers or grab a bite to eat at a later date. You are actively listening to every word that comes out of their mouth then all of a sudden, they mention something that didn't quite sit well with you, perhaps they made you feel very uncomfortable. You begin to notice signs that the person is in fact, an emotional wreck. You discover that they have just gone through a traumatic experience and now you notice a sudden sign of dependency (keep in mind, that this is still within the first five minutes...an instant red flag!) What do you do in this type of situation? I recommend that you be polite at all times. Listen to what they have to say. Apparently, they need someone to talk to at this very moment and sense the bartender is off duty, they decided to tell you about all of their issues, so give an ear to listen. You must be careful with this step because some people could read your politeness as an open door for an intimate relationship. If this is the case, then you must emphasize that you are not interested in a new relationship or friendship at this time.

Don't compromise your comfort zone- If the person you are talking to makes you feel uncomfortable in anyway, whether it is a sexual advance or whatever the case may be, then you should cut off all lines of communication and walk away. This is for your own safety. In some cases if a person is emotionally unstable, then chances are they will be unstable in other areas as well.

Don't allow them to pry- I was planning on attending a screenwriter's meeting with one of my instructors. I was very excited about it. I was a student of his two years ago, so I felt like I could trust him. We had made arrangements to carpool. After we discussed and confirmed our plans, I noticed that he was overly concerned about my (then) fiancé and why he was not providing for me at this time. I felt really uncomfortable because for one, we aren't tight like glue so I didn't feel it necessary for him to ask me personal questions about myself. We had a student/instructor relationship period. Then he was calling me at home all of the time. For instance; he would call, leave a message and call right back and leave another message, I felt like Mathew Broderick in the "Cable Guy." At this point I cancelled and thought it was in my best interest not to go. When I told him that I had changed my mind, he wanted to know why...I told him that I had some errands to run and he asked me what type of errands. In essence, his pushy actions made me not want to be around him. He did not take the hint that I was evading all of his questions that were way too personal and I didn't want to just say "that is none of your business." In essence, I politely cancelled and said have a nice day without letting him get a word in. I admit that I am still a little disappointed that I couldn't attend the screenwriters meeting, however; I am glad that I cut off communication at this point.

Do not accept gifts from a pushy person- Refrain from accepting gifts from someone that is pushy. If you do, you will have a lot of trouble getting them out of your life because they feel as though you owe them something, you will then feel obligated to stick around and wait for the perfect time to end the friendship, this will only pull you deeper and deeper into the friendship you never wanted in the first place so nip it in the bud ASAP.

Photo Credits

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