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How to Deal With an Insincere Friend

by eHow Relationships & Family Editor

When you put a lot of effort into creating a meaningful friendship, it's painful to discover your friend is insincere. Loyalty and honesty mean a lot to you but before you decide to leave your phony friend in the dust, try a few techniques to salvage your friendship.

Sit down with your friend for a heart-to-heart talk. Explain how much you value honesty and integrity and how much her insincere actions hurt you. Often, a dishonest person doesn't realize how much harm insincerity causes.

Look for reasons that would explain why your friend is not being straight with you. Dishonesty is a cover-up for something else. Examine the instances when your friend has been less than truthful. She could be covering up a home life she is ashamed of or a lack of talent in another area. A little sleuthing on your part could uncover the cause.

Examine your own attitudes. If your friend is being dishonest, it might be the result of judgmental vibes she's getting from you. Ask yourself if you make comments that might lead her to believe you would not like her if she told you the truth.

Put her dishonesty into perspective. If she only fudged about one or two small things, it may not be worth ending the friendship. Having a friend also means being a friend. Of course, you don't like being deceived but giving her a second chance might pay off in the end.

Work on developing your friend's trust. For whatever reason, she did not feel as though she could trust you with the truth. Let her know that no matter what she did, you are her friend. Trust works both ways.

Give it some time. Let the incident pass without harping on it. Allow your friendship to heal and grow. Forgive and move forward with your friendship.

Warning

  • If, despite your best efforts at understanding and forgiving, your friend continues to lie and deceive you, it might be time to call it quits. As painful as losing a friend is, staying in a dishonest friendship is worse.