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How to Deal With an Ex-Boyfriend If He Is in My Close Circle

by Ashlea Campbell

Getting over a break-up is difficult, but seeing your ex on a regular basis can make the process painful. Naturally, you want to guard your heart, so spending time with your close circle of friends can be challenging when your ex is in the mix.

Keep your distance. Maintaining an active social life by spending time with friends and family is one important thing you can do to get over your ex. Your friends are there to support you. If your circle of friends includes your ex, do not isolate yourself from the group. Instead, attend the group events but keep a safe distance. Each person’s safe distance differs based on the severity of the break-up, the length of time since the break-up and your level of comfort. Always be polite, but if talking to your ex stirs old feelings, avoid him. If you are in a new relationship, make your partner aware of your ex and plan to keep a distance.

Spare your friends. While your natural inclination may be to spill every detail of your relationship, refrain from doing so. Remember, if your ex is in your close circle of friends, there is a chance the information could get back to him. Also, divulging details could put your friends in awkward situations. They may be equally loyal to you both. Instead, only share flattering things about your ex.

Take time to interact with the members of your circle individually or in small groups. Now may be a great time to reconnect or redefine those relationships. Maybe your ex only hangs with the group when they go miniature-golfing, but you happen to know of one member who hates miniature golf. Plan an alternate activity or invite that person to try something different. Your friend is sure to appreciate the gesture.

Develop a new friendship. If you continue to spend time with your circle of friends, it may be difficult to keep a distance from your ex. If you are comfortable spending time with him, do not have lingering feelings and have moved past the break-up, he could become a friend. While you both may make mistakes, it is possible to have a strong friendship

About the Author

Ashlea Campbell writes about families, relationships and health-related issues. In addition to writing professionally, she teaches writing courses at Collin College in Plano, Texas. She holds a Masters degree in English education from the University of Kansas.

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