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How to Deal With a Bromance

by Zora Hughes, studioD

You may have known that your man had a best friend, but perhaps you didn't realize that would mean the two of them spending tons of time together without you. If he's constantly texting or talking on the phone with his friend as well, he's likely in a deep bromance with his buddy. This completely platonic but emotionally deep friendship between guys can be off-putting and downright annoying for any girlfriend to deal with. However, with the right attitude and a few adjustments, you will find that your man's bromance can be healthy and beneficial for you both.

Accept that it is healthy for your man to have a close male friend. Bromances are growing in popularity because societal trends are making it more acceptable for men to express their platonic feelings for each other, according to Geoffrey Greif, Ph.D., a sociology professor and author of "The Buddy System: Understanding Male Friendships." Greif also points out that men with friends tend to live healthier lives while staying socially stimulated and motivated.

Cultivate a positive relationship with your guy's best friend; don't look at him as the enemy. Be friendly and cordial when you see him. According to psychotherapist and author Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D., you can make him an ally to whom you can turn when it comes to your relationships, such as finding out what is stressing him at work when he won't tell you.

Set reasonable boundaries. Explain to your man that as great as his friend is, you need him to be present when the two of you are spending time together, not texting his buddy back every five minutes. If he is starting to spend more time with his friend than with you, have a discussion about the negative affect it is having on your relationship, emphasizing that you understand the importance of him spending time with his friends. Plan regular date nights where communication with other people is allowed. A good guy is going to be amenable to making more time for you and focusing on only you during that time.

Spend time with your best friend or group of girlfriends when he is hanging out with his buddy. Don't sit at home and complain that he is out having fun without you. Call up your friends and plan a girl's night out or a spa day. The more you are fulfilled in your life, the less it will bother you that your guy is spending time with his friends.

Join them every once in a while. While you both need time alone with friends, hanging out with your boyfriend and his friends demonstrates your support. If he has the guys over to watch a football game, bring in some food, watch the game and hang out. Be genuinely enthusiastic and ask questions, though not too much, about the game. If you would rather be anywhere but there, it will be obvious, so don't join in unless you really want to.

About the Author

Based in Los Angeles, Zora Hughes has been writing travel, parenting, cooking and relationship articles since 2010. Her work includes writing city profiles for Groupon. She also writes screenplays and won the S. Randolph Playwriting Award in 2004. She holds a Bachelor of Arts in television writing/producing and a Master of Arts Management in entertainment media management, both from Columbia College.

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