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How to Deal With the Boy You Like Rejecting You

by Ashlea Campbell, studioD

You mustered up enough nerve to ask someone out, only to be shot down by the guy. He may have even given signs that he was interested only to respond with a "no." No one likes being rejected. However, sometimes it is the outcome of expressing your desire to date someone. Instead of moping, move forward.

Accept the Outcome

Immediately after being rejected, you may experience a little sadness. Process your emotions and allow yourself to feel sad. Try to quickly return to your normal routine, and avoid dwelling too long on the situation. Avoid convincing yourself that “there is still something there.” The longer you drag it out, the longer it will take to find someone worthy of dating you. Also, if he’s still giving you mixed signals such as continuing to flirt with you after he’s rejected you, try to avoid intimate time with him, as this will only prolong your feelings of rejection and may cause you to feel insecure. This is especially true if your feelings of insecurity come from comparing yourself to others or rating yourself based on others’ approval, suggests clinical psychologist Pamela D. Garcy.

You Are Not Alone

It may seem as though you’re the only person to be rejected, but you’re not. Lean on your friends and family during this time. They will help you to focus on the positives in your life instead of the negative aspects of the rejection. You can take time to reflect independently, but do not isolate yourself from others for too long.

Get Moving

In addition to learning new skills, become active. Think about the things you enjoy doing and do them regularly. This will help take your mind off of the rejection. Walking and other forms of exercise have a positive effect on physical health, but they may also positively impact your emotional health. Including your friends and family in these activities may enhance the experiences further.

Learn Something New

After being rejected, the last thing you may want to do is think about asking someone out again in the future. Surprisingly, this is exactly what you should do. Do not limit yourself in this regard. Examine what went wrong this time. You may have missed the signs that he wasn’t interested. Maybe you did not come off as confident. Do not ask the person who rejected you what went wrong. Instead, rely on friends and your own intuitiveness to figure out the problem. If confidence is your problem, take time to relax or do things that remind you of how talented and unique you are. Practice communicating in various situations similar to asking someone out, such as striking up a conversation with a cute stranger or role-playing with a friend. You’ll be able to put your learned skill to use the next time you ask someone out.

About the Author

Ashlea Campbell writes about families, relationships and health-related issues. In addition to writing professionally, she teaches writing courses at Collin College in Plano, Texas. She holds a Masters degree in English education from the University of Kansas.

Photo Credits

  • Jupiterimages/Pixland/Getty Images