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How to Deal With an Argumentative Spouse

by Cooper Veeris

Arguing is a typical part of marriage; however, too much can cause tension and ultimately lead to a relationship on the rocks. When dealing with an argumentative significant other, a spouse has to reassess the relationship and try to get to the foundation of the arguments. By using effective communication methods, the problems may slowly decrease in the relationship. While one person may not be responsible for the other person's need to argue, working together as a couple can often strengthen the bond and allow both people to move forward in the marriage.

Root of the Argument

All arguments stem from a problem. The issue may lie within the mind of the spouse or may be rooted in something troubling in the relationship. Whatever the real reason is for the fighting, it has to be brought to the surface in order to resolve and heal. To identify the root of the problem, a spouse can calmly ask questions and observe behavior leading up to fights to draw conclusions.

Remain Calm and Firm

While an argumentative spouse can make the other spouse want to engage in negativity, it is best to refrain from any verbal and physical aggressive actions. The spouse on the receiving end of the argument should remain calm and listen to what is being said. When the other person finishes, the spouse should be firm in his response and overall delivery. This can help bring the argument down to a level-headed discussion between two adults, instead of escalating into an ugly fight.

Counseling

Therapy sessions can help couples understand what is going on in their relationships. Often, couples should attend individual therapy sessions as well as marriage counseling to fully understand what causes them to play the roles that they do in their union. Having a trustworthy, outside view of the relationship can help both spouses begin to trust one another and heal. It also allows both parties to be heard and respected.

Showing Unconditional Love

Argumentative spouses sometimes pick arguments on a regular basis in order to demand attention from their spouses. Tantrums, fits and unfounded arguments can stem from lack of love, affection or understanding. People married to argumentative spouses should be sure that they are supplying their significant others with the most love and affection that they can give. This shows them that they do not have to fight in order to receive attention.

About the Author

Cooper Veeris holds a bachelor's degree in English from Fordham University and lives in New York City. In addition to contributing regularly to various websites as a writer, she has experience teaching different populations and age groups including early childhood, junior high and high school students, and adults living with mental illnesses.

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