Divorce is hard not only because it is the separation of a family, but because of the strong emotions that result from it. Sometimes, divorce is made even more challenging by an angry spouse who may take drastic steps to retaliate against a former partner. However, there are steps you can take to reduce the amount of stress caused by your ex while you complete your divorce. Of course, if you have children, making the divorce as easy for them as possible will also be a priority.
Write a letter, e-mail or communicate in some other form that you acknowledge your husband's anger, but wish for a peaceful divorce. State that you are willing to work with him for a fair divorce.
Make things normal for your children. Despite your husband's angry temperament, you cannot withhold child visitation unless specified by a court. As such, allow your children to see their father during regular scheduled visits. Avoid unnecessary chit chat when dropping children off and stick to essential conversation like time of pick up and their plans together. If he behaves angrily towards you while exchanging the children, keep the conversation as short as possible. You may also ask that a close family member or friend accompany you to prevent him from saying or doing negative things in the presence of your children. Additionally, ask that he refrain from speaking negatively to or about you in front of the children for their benefit.
Protect yourself from retaliation. An angry spouse may remove money from your joint bank accounts or even have your electricity shut off to retaliate against you. To prevent this, open your own bank accounts and have utilities placed in your name. You may even need to move into a family member's home or your own apartment to prevent him from making changes to home matters that will affect you.
Hire a mediator. A divorce mediator will allow you to work out the details of your divorce without having to deal directly with one another. A mediator may also only communicate with each of you individually and work to resolve all matters pertaining to the divorce.
- Try divorce counseling once you have completed the divorce. Doing so may help improve your platonic relationship going forward, which will likewise help you manage the lives of any children the two of you have together.
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