our everyday life

Dating Life After 35

by Becky Swain

Dating life after 35 doesn’t resemble the dating life you knew in high school or college – thankfully. Whether you are searching for Mr. or Ms. Right, or simply want to connect with someone over coffee, you bring a plethora of experiences and social skills to the dating game now that you did not possess as a dating novice. No, you aren’t out of touch, but dating after 35 reflects that your priorities and preferences evolve as you have grown. That’s good news for you and for your lucky date.

Been There, Done That

One of the advantages that dating life after 35 holds is your cache of life experiences, writes clinical psychologist Lisa Firestone in the "Psychology Today" article, “Advantages of Dating After 40.” Your history provides an opportunity to know yourself well and to know your preferences. For example, if you see that you enter into relationships with people who possess negative personality traits, you can make changes to avoid repeating a pattern that culminates in an unhappy ending for you.

Ready, Set, Meet

Don’t be discouraged by past dating experiences. Use these experiences to help identify what is important to you in the present, and meeting new people enables you to find those qualities. You can meet new people without leaving your home through online dating sites, but exercise caution when interacting with individuals online, recommends psychotherapist Barton Goldsmith in the "Psychology Today" article “Top Ten Tips for Dating After 40.” Consider options for meeting others. For example, enjoy your morning coffee at local cafe, join community organizations and attend conferences and parties related to your business.

Attitude Adjustment

It’s true that your life experiences afford advantages in the dating arena after 35. However, your attitude is equally important, according to the Professor’s House article “Dating After 40.” Attitudes are timeless, and either attract positive or negative attention. Regardless of your age, people are more likely to feel attracted to someone who appears poised, self-confident, happy and calm, and less likely to feel attracted to a person who appears self-absorbed, angry and depressed.

Looking Ahead

It’s not unusual for past experiences to exert an influence on your present circumstances. A disadvantage associated with dating life after 35 concerns the tendency to base expectations on prior less-than-happy experiences or to embrace the stereotype that love is reserved for younger individuals, notes Firestone. OK, so perhaps you have dated a couple of frogs, or maybe a happy ending has eluded you. When prior experiences haunt your current dating efforts, confront their influence to explore new possibilities.

Photo Credits

  • Digital Vision/Photodisc/Getty Images