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How to Date a Guy That Takes a Long Time to Open Up

by Emma Wells

Dating a guy who is quiet or shy can be a new experience for people who have more extroverted personalities. You may be thrown for a loop when he doesn’t kiss you on the first date, but asks you out for another, or when he nods as you tell him personal information but doesn’t offer you much about himself. Dating a guy who takes a long time to open up can help you to develop a deep, meaningful relationship if you give him enough time.

Enjoy the mystery. It’s romantic to meet someone who keeps you guessing a little bit and won’t tell you his whole life story in the first few dates. It’s probably one thing that’s keeping you interested. Instead of worrying about it, allow yourself to wonder what he’ll reveal this time, and consider it a positive quality. This guy is not an open book, and that’s okay.

Take quality over quantity. A more introverted guy who is slow to open up might reveal only a little, but the detail that he reveals could be very personal. While extroverts process information by talking through it, introverts tend to think before speaking, writes Dave Singleton, author of the dating advice book “The Mandates." Enjoy the gems he offers you, and don’t be too concerned about how much information he gives you at a time.

Establish trust. In order for this man to open up to you, he will need to trust that you wouldn’t share his secrets with anyone else. “An introvert would be horrified to think you are violating his privacy,” says Jane Ganahl, author of the book “Naked On the Page”. You will probably need a good deal of alone time together before he feels comfortable sharing more personal information.

About the Author

Emma Wells has been writing professionally since 2004. She is also a writing instructor, editor and former elementary school teacher. She has a Master's degree in writing and a Bachelor of Arts in English and anthropology. Her creative work has been published in several small literary magazines.

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