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The Damaging Effects Lying Has on a Marriage

by Kristen Moutria

Marriage is challenging for anyone, but if you are married to a person who lies constantly, your relationship is in danger of eroding. The importance of a bond built on trust cannot be overemphasized, and if you discover that your partner has been leading you on with falsehoods for years, you may feel that you do not even know him. To keep your marriage strong, practice being radically honest with your partner.

Lack of Trust

According to Stan Dale, an internationally recognized relationship expert and founder of the Human Awareness Institute, there can be no love without trust. Your relationships can either be strengthened or destroyed by the way you communicate with one another, and if your communication is built on lies, it has no solid foundation. Drs. Charles and Elizabeth Schmitz report that the couples who are married the longest are those who state that their level of trust in their partner is 100 percent. These people recognize the importance of being honest with their partner and always choose the truth over even a white lie.

No Integrity

If you constantly lie to your spouse, you will feel the burden that comes with living a life that lacks integrity. This will cause you general stress and unhappiness, as well as a feeling of disconnect from your partner. In "Psychology Today," Linda Bloom, LCSW, and Charlie Bloom, MSW, report that your relationships begin to feel dry, flat and uninteresting when you choose to avoid upsetting your partner instead of being honest with her. Instead of enjoying the rich existence that comes with honestly interacting with one another, you will feel ashamed and unknown.

Not Being Known

Constantly lying to your partner may result in feelings of isolation and a sense of not truly being known. Since the point of a relationship is to self-disclose and find a place of refuge in another person, lying shuts down this function and instead, leads to a feeling of uneasiness and unrest. Because you are not choosing an authentic lifestyle, you will never experience the thrill of being loved for who you really are. "Psychology Today" reports that this will lead to a relentless and insatiable quest for love. Marital dissatisfaction may be the result, as the desire for love will never be fully satisfied.

Divorce

Divorce is the most radical of the damaging effects lying has on a relationship, but it is a huge possibility when dishonesty controls a marriage. According to Gunzburg, open communication is essential if you want to restore a marriage and stop divorce; keeping things from your spouse will most likely lead to separation. With trust being fundamental to a healthy relationship, a lack of it may lead to the end of an otherwise fulfilling bond.

About the Author

Kristen Moutria has a Bachelor of Arts in psychology from Evangel University. She is currently pursuing her Master of Arts in education from the University of Nebraska.

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