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What Do I Do When I Have a Crush on My Older Brother's Friend?

by Kristen Moutria

If you have a crush on your older brother's friend, you may have no idea how to display your feelings for him without coming across too strongly. You may wonder if he feels the same way about you, or if the age difference between the two of you is too great. Although it is nerve-wracking to have feelings for someone you might think is "out of your league," there is no reason to give up on your hopes without testing the waters. There are plenty of ways you can approach the situation that may lead you two into a relationship.

Read His Body Language

Picking up on the subtle body language of your older brother's friend may be the key to discover if he has feelings for you. If he does have a crush on you, he may hold your gaze longer than usual, or do the opposite and avoid your gaze completely, according to the "Professional Counselling" website. If he avoids your gaze, he may be nervous about being around you. If he stares deeply into your eyes, he may be looking for a connection with you. He may also be interested in you if he constantly smiles at you, blushes when you are around, or turns to face you when you are in groups.

Join One of His Activities

Joining an activity that your older brother's friend is involved in is a great way to get to spend time with him without being obvious too soon about your feelings. Perhaps he is a basketball player and you can attend one of his games, or even cheer him on from the sidelines. Maybe he loves to surf, and you can go surfing with him and your brother on the weekend. Showing interest in his passions will give you two the opportunity to spend time together.

Communicate With Your Brother

Take the time to have a talk with your brother and explain the situation you are in. You may tell him that you have feelings for his friend, and ask him if the feelings are mutual. There is a chance your crush has confided in him, as well. Take note that you should only be vulnerable with your brother if he is trustworthy and has consistently kept your secrets. Avoid asking him to deliver a message to your crush about how you feel. This may come across as immature, and you will most likely have better luck talking to your crush in person.

Express Your Feelings

After you two have spent time together, you may decide to confess your feelings to the guy you like. You might be afraid of coming across as foolish, or wonder if you are making a mistake by being vulnerable. However, if your crush has shown many signs that he has feelings for you, such as making an effort to spend time with you and demonstrating interest through his body language, the two of you may end up in a relationship. On the other hand, if he has not shown any signs of interest in you, be prepared for a response you may not enjoy. There is no way to know how he feels until you talk to him, so make honest communication with him a priority.

About the Author

Kristen Moutria has a Bachelor of Arts in psychology from Evangel University. She is currently pursuing her Master of Arts in education from the University of Nebraska.

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