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How to Court Your Ex-Girlfriend Again

by Elise Wile, studioD

If you're thinking of courting your ex, you've probably spent some time thinking about how you would like to spend the rest of your life with her. Courting is a serious step that implies probable marriage, as opposed to mere dating, which can consist of a simple night out and nothing more. Before taking this serious step, take the time to make certain your ex is indeed the right person for you and that you can both make the relationship work out this time around. After that, your success will largely be in the hands of your beloved.

Examine your role in the breakup the first time you were together, advises psychologist Misty Hook on the "Ask the Psychologist" website. Before you attempt to reconcile your relationship with your ex-girlfriend, it's important to identify any behavioral patterns that caused your relationship to go awry the first time. Once you've realized that your tendency to slam doors and show rage when you are angry was frightening to your girlfriend, for example, you'll be able to change your behavior and have a better chance at making things work the next go round.

Talk to her parents if you intend to court the old-fashioned way. Having heard their daughter's story of your breakup, they'll likely be biased. You'll need to convince them of your intention to provide their daughter with a stable life filled with love. After they've granted their permission, you'll be free to continue courting.

Send your ex some flowers at her workplace, gift her with a book by one of her favorite authors or find another way to tangibly communicate your interest. Whatever you choose, make sure it is something she will love so you'll have the best chance of softening her heart. In other words, don't send a box of peanut brittle to a girl who's allergic to nuts.

Ask your ex-girlfriend on a traditional date. Pick her up on time, knocking at the door and not waiting in the driveway. Take her to a restaurant that requires a tie, and plan a pleasant evening at the theater or a concert after dinner. Making classy plans sends the message that you're willing to go all out to win her heart once again.

Give technology a rest as you continue to court your ex by sending her sweet notes, stopping by with gifts and taking her out. Spending time texting her sexy messages can replace true intimacy, according to relationship expert Laura Berman in a February 2012 article on CNN.com. Cultivate healthy communication with your sweetie the old-fashioned way, and only text to let her know that you're looking forward to seeing her in person.

About the Author

Elise Wile has been a writer since 2003. Holding a master's degree in curriculum and Instruction, she has written training materials for three school districts. Her expertise includes mentoring, serving at-risk students and corporate training.

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