Trust is an important part of any relationship but there are circumstances that can put strain on even the most solid couple. One common cause for concern stems from the fear that certain types of friends can become bad influences. If you often wonder if your fiancee's behavior is inappropriate, you may have to investigate the cause.
If your fiancee spends more time partying with her girlfriend than hanging out with you, there might be a problem. Not only could it signal a lack of commitment to your relationship, but it's also important to know what happens when they are out together. Are they spending time with other men? Is your fiancee's friend deliberately monopolizing her time? It is important to have a conversation to address your concerns and discuss your boundaries.
Too Much Alone Time
There are entire movies and books dedicated to the special bond that women can share. Aside from watching romantic comedies and getting matching pedicures, girlfriends enjoy engaging in meaningful conversation. If, however, your fiancee's friend is calling or texting all day and regularly interfering with your plans by excluding you from movie and dinner dates, the nature of their friendship can be detrimental to your relationship. Allowing this type of disruption is definitely inappropriate.
It's natural for everyone to have a special friend that they turn to in times of need. It's entirely inappropriate for your fiancee to share extremely intimate details about your relationship without your permission, especially if it is something that could make you uncomfortable. It would be equally wrong for her to share personal information about your extended family, health or job without your permission.
It can make an incredible difference to have a helping hand during a time of need but this occasional assistance is not to be confused with someone who is constantly asking for money. Everyone can go through hard times but if your fiancee is regularly providing her girlfriend with financial support, it may be time to have an important conversation -- especially if it's hurting your shared income.
- Journal of Social and Personal Relationships; Benefit or burden? Attraction in cross-sex friendship; August 2012
- Advances in Psychology Research; Hanging Out or Hanging In?: Young Females' Socioemotional Functioning and the Changing Motives for Dating and Romance; 2006
- American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy; Infidelity
- Cialdini, R.B. (2009). Influence: Science and Practice. Boston: Pearson.
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