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The Most Common Causes of Divorce

by David Stewart

There may be many reasons leading to the dissolution of a marriage. Since many states do not require couples to file a statement of fault or give a specific reason for their divorce, statistics attributing separation to specific causes explicitly are not available. However; there are some common reasons provided by family experts and revealed by interviews of divorced couples.

Lack of Communication

Communication is basic to any relationship. When partners fail to accept that there is a problem with their marriage and keep ignoring it, neither knows how the other feels, which inevitably leads to friction. Couples should make an effort to include good communication in their relationship in the first place. Domestic and work demands should not be a deterrent in the case of working couples. Talk while on a walk or while driving together to a movie, the grocery store or church; create opportunities to talk. Communication should not only be honest but also respectful. Sarcasm, mockery and accusations as well as judgmental statements are disrespectful. Ridiculing a partner’s language skills, berating his decisions or intimidating your partner to accede are all examples of disrespectful communication. Healthy communication includes honest conversation, active listening on both sides and an equal opportunity to speak without one partner dominating the conversation.

Lack of Commitment

It takes two to make a relationship work. Partners in a marriage should be equally committed to making their relationship work. Making reasonable compromises and working hard wholeheartedly to support the partnership is necessary from both partners involved in a marriage. If only one partner is committed to the marriage and is making all the compromises, it is more likely that the relationship will come to ruin.

Infidelity

Cheating on a spouse is one of the most common causes for divorce. While some couples are able to overcome the pain and suffering of infidelity and preserve their marriage, many marriages succumb.

Sex

Dissatisfaction in the love life has resulted in many divorces. While physical intimacy is a key aspect of marriage, it is not the only aspect that ensures personal happiness in marriage as most people realize as they mature. Raising children together, being healthy and successful and growing old together are equally important in a marriage. Couples with a stressful love life who are contemplating divorce can seek professional help.

Shattered Expectations

Unrealistic and high expectations also can lead to divorces. When one partner enters into marriage with high expectations and is met with only a lukewarm response from the other, disillusionment follows. “Happily ever after” marriages may not be realistic. Neither is the “perfect partner” expectation. It helps to realize that all human beings have flaws. Entering into a marriage by being prepared to discover faults in your partner and accepting what can't or won't be changed can help you survive the hardships arising out of unfulfilled expectations.