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Clever Ways to Ask a Guy Out on a First Date

by Kathryn Rateliff Barr

The rules have changed, according to Cosmopolitan -- it is okay for a gal to ask a guy out on a first date. If you’re shy or a traditionalist, that can be challenging unless you can find some clever ways that ensure you will get an affirmative answer. If he says no, you won’t die from embarrassment, and you might have more empathy for the next guy who asks you out.

Oh, You Too?

If you do a little investigating concerning the guy you want to ask out, you can find date ideas that interest him. If you know he’s a baseball fan and his favorite team is playing in town, ask him if he plans to go to the game. If he says yes, you can ask him if he’s planning to go alone or if he would like company at the game. If he digs you, he will get the hint and agree to go -- he might even spring for the tickets and all the fixings. If not, step up and buy the tickets, suggests Cosmopolitan.

You Flirty Thing

Turn on your sexiest smile and put yourself where he can’t miss you, suggests dating guru Evan Marc Katz. When he responds to your smile, he knows he is welcome to come over and make contact with you. You can offer to buy him a drink or take a twirl on the dance floor. Once he’s hooked, ask him if he knows any happening parties or good places to eat, suggests dating coach Patti Stanger. He’s sure to understand you’re asking for a date and oblige with suggestions you can agree are worthy of that first date.

The Group Thing

If you aren’t comfortable asking him out for a date alone, ask him to join you and some of your friends for a group outing, suggests Cosmopolitan. Explain that you are all going to a concert, movie or roving dinner party, going from house to house for each course. Ask if he wants to be a part of the gang. A group date removes the pressure of having to carry on a conversation or stay focused on each other for the entire date. It might also make it more comfortable to split the cost of the date without making it awkward.

The Hinting Game

If he has been hinting around that he likes you enough to do something together, decide that two can play the hints game and ask him where he’s taking you on this date he’s been talking around. You might catch him by surprise and have him back up a bit, so follow it with some humor by asking him, “That was what you meant, right?” Leaving him to set up the details puts him in the lead, suggests the Psychology Today article “The Nice Girl's Guide to Asking a Guy Out.” (Ref 4)

About the Author

Rev. Kathryn Rateliff Barr has taught birth, parenting, vaccinations and alternative medicine classes since 1994. She is a pastoral family counselor and has parented birth, step, adopted and foster children. She holds bachelor's degrees in English and history from Centenary College of Louisiana. Studies include midwifery, naturopathy and other alternative therapies.

Photo Credits

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