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How to Change the Behavior of a Teen That Constantly Seeks Attention From Boys

by Chelsea Fitzgerald, studioD

Many teen girls are boy-crazy, which is just a normal part of growing up. Once they enter adolescence, they discover sexual urges, dabble in flirting and start a quest to find the perfect partner. Other girls seek attention from males obsessively because of low self-esteem, lack of a father figure or peer pressure. Communication is key to changing this behavior.

Encourage your teenager to talk to you about the boys she likes. Ask her what traits she finds particularly appealing and share stories about your crushes as a teen. Being available is the best way to keep the lines of communication open. It also helps you know whether she is being a normal teenager or whether she has self-esteem problems.

Go to the library with your teen and help her find some age-appropriate romance novels. This is an effective way to curb some of her romantic energy, according to the Disney Family website. Another option is to rent romance movies or go with her to to watch some chick-flicks. Ensure that the literature and videos aren’t sexual in nature, but that they focus on friendship leading to courtship and how to foster strong relationships with the opposite sex.

Discuss with your teen how females mature faster than males. Explain that if a boy shuns her advances, it doesn’t necessarily mean she is unattractive or has an unpleasant personality. Tell her that even if the boy is older, he might not be ready for a relationship yet.

Explain that her constantly seeking the attention of a boy can scare him away. Tell her that many boys prefer to do the chasing instead of being chased.

Ask your teenager whether she feels pressured to have boys desire her or to be in a relationship because that is what everyone else expects, according to the Athens Parent website. Praise her attributes, whether she makes excellent grades, is considered talented in art or music, is kind, compassionate or funny. Tell her she is valuable on her own and doesn’t need a boyfriend by her side to be worthy of praise.

Encourage your daughter to have friendships with boys. This gives her an opportunity to learn about how the other sex thinks and feels. It helps her understand perspectives from the male point of view. These are valuable lessons that will help her have a successful marriage some day, if that is one of her goals.

Look at the relationship your teen has with her father. If he is withdrawn, undemonstrative or absent, she might be seeking attention from boys in order to obtain male approval. If this is the case, speak to her father about improving his relationship with her or ask her grandfather, uncle or another trusted male relative to be a substitute father figure for her.


  • If you feel your daughter is obsessive about seeking the attention of males or feel that she is promiscuous, seek counseling for her. She mogjt need professional help to explore the reasons for her behavior.

About the Author

Chelsea Fitzgerald covers topics related to family, health, green living and travel. Before her writing career, she worked in the medical field for 21 years. Fitzgerald studied education at the University of Arkansas and University of Memphis.

Photo Credits

  • Bruce Grenville Matthews/Digital Vision/Getty Images