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Why Can't I Seem to Get Over My Ex Even Though He Cheated on Me?

by Kristen Moutria, studioD

If you have recently been cheated on, you may be having a very difficult time processing the fact that your seemingly great relationship has ended on such a terrible note. You may wonder what exactly caused your boyfriend to cheat on you, and why you cannot get over him. It is not easy to move on and find a better partner for yourself after your boyfriend has cheated on you. However, understanding the reasons why recovery is difficult may help you move on and find a more fulfilling relationship with a committed partner.

Healing Takes Time

Facing the reality that your boyfriend cheated on you causes pain, and this pain is difficult to handle, and will take effort to stop dwelling on the pain that he has caused you. Even if you are doing your best to move on from what happened, you will most likely encounter many setbacks as you try to heal. You should give yourself permission to function at a level that is less than optimum for as long as it takes to recover, according to HelpGuide.

Out-of-Control Thinking

Every time you remember the closeness that you and your ex-boyfriend shared, you experience pain because the closeness reminds you of what you lost. Your imagination may be vivid when it comes to thinking about your ex-boyfriend and the girl he chose to break his commitment to you. Consistently envisioning him with this girl will set you back. The next time a terrible thought comes into your mind, practice a technique called "thought-stopping,” according to WebMD. Say, "Stop!" and instead picture yourself with a loving, devoted mate.

Blaming Yourself

You might be using up a lot of energy trying to figure out why your boyfriend cheated on you. In fact, you may even be wrestling with the idea that it was your fault he made the decision to be unfaithful. If you ask yourself what you could have done differently or what you should improve to prevent another guy from cheating on you on in the future, stop these thoughts immediately. Blaming yourself will only lower your self-confidence and cause you to question your decisions.

Physiological Reasons

There are physiological reasons you have a hard time recovering from a breakup, even if you were cheated on. Breakup trauma is severe because rejection affects primitive regions of the brain that correspond with reward, motivation and addiction cravings, suggests Lucy Brown in a 2010 study in the Journal of Neurophysiology, and reported in PsychCentral. You may have actually been addicted to your relationship, and now that it is over, you are going through withdrawal symptoms.

About the Author

Kristen Moutria has a Bachelor of Arts in psychology from Evangel University. She is currently pursuing her Master of Arts in education from the University of Nebraska.

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