our everyday life

How Can a Man Develop a Better Relationship With His Wife?

by C. Giles

A successful marriage is built on several key factors including compromise, commitment, patience and lots of hard work. If you feel that your marriage is in need of improvement, the very fact that you are aware of this is a positive first step in the right direction. By looking at the various elements of your relationship and identifying exactly where the improvement needs to occur, you can start to build a happier, healthier and stronger partnership.

Trust

Without trust, a marriage is essentially doomed. Trust is possibly the single most important indicator of a healthy, long-lasting relationship, according to Preston Ni in the Psychology Today article, "7 Keys to Long-Term Relationship Success." To build a better relationship with your wife, take a look at how you can improve the trust in your marriage. Both of you should be reliable and dependable, keep promises and support each other through difficult times. If there is a lack of trust between you, consider the reasons for this. Perhaps you were betrayed in a previous relationship and this affects your ability to fully trust your wife, regardless of how she behaves.

Compatibility

You may not share your wife's love of reality television -- and she may not share your enthusiasm for basketball. Perhaps she's an early riser, but you treasure sleeping in. These little differences don't signal incompatibility. Look deeper for signs that you are not as closely connected to your wife as you could be. Keep in mind that physical compatibility doesn't just involve sexual intercourse. For better physical compatibility, show your affection. Kiss your wife every morning before you leave for work. Hold her hand when you walk through the park together. Grab her for a spontaneous hug for no particular reason. Emotional compatibility involves verbalizing loving emotions. You may feel tender and caring toward your wife, but you need to let her know this if you want to improve your relationship. Tell her that you appreciate her and enjoy spending time with her. Ask her how she is feeling and what you can do to help make her days easier. Make time for shared activities that you both enjoy.

Resolving Conflict

No matter how healthy your relationship is, accept that conflict will arise now and then. Quarreling is perfectly normal in a marriage. Working through disagreements in the right way can actually help improve your relationship. Forget about holding grudges and turning a blind eye to important issues. Keep the bigger picture in mind when you are arguing with your wife. Remind yourself that you love each other and want your relationship to work. One of the keys to successfully managing conflict lies in communication. If you find yourselves having the same arguments over and over again, you need to change the way you communicate, advises counselor Elly Prior on her Professional Counselling website. Listen to your wife. Value her emotions and opinions. Work together to find a resolution that works for your both.

Physical Intimacy

Physical intimacy often takes a back seat in a marriage. Children, work and all the daily pressures of modern life may leave a couple too drained to do anything but sleep when the lights go out. By making several small changes to your lifestyle and daily routine, you can soon get the spark back into your marriage. Schedule time every day to talk to your wife, suggests retired psychologist Kalman Heller in the PsychCentral article, "How Can I Improve Intimacy in my Marriage?" Even 15 minutes of uninterrupted conversation can make you feel more connected. Additionally, aim to have an hour-long conversation once a week. Plan overnight breaks just for the two of you every couple of months to let you rediscover some of the passion of the early days of your relationship.

About the Author

C. Giles is a writer with an MA (Hons) in English literature and a post-graduate diploma in law. Her work has been published in several publications, both online and offline, including "The Herald," "The Big Issue" and "Daily Record."

Photo Credits

  • Photodisc/Photodisc/Getty Images