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How Can I Make My Husband Feel Admired?

by Sharon Secor, studioD

At the 2005 Colloquium of Social Scientists and Theologians, developmental psychologist and researcher Barbara Markey described marriage as an ongoing process requiring ongoing effort to stay strong. Making your husband feel like you admire him is important. Your admiration boosts his self-esteem. It can inspire him to try a little harder to make you feel loved and appreciated. The degree of admiration a wife feels for her husband affects her overall marital satisfaction, according to psychologist Harriette Podhoretz. Making your husband feel admired can do more than make him happy. It can make you happier, too.

Tell Him Directly

As you go through the day, if your husband says or does something that sparks admiration in you, tell him immediately. Be specific, telling him exactly what it is you admire in that moment, advises psychologist and psychotherapist Harriet Lerner in “How to Fall in Love With Your Husband,” published in “Psychology Today.” Listen carefully when he talks to you about work and other things he does or is interested in, looking for things to genuinely and specifically admire. Ask questions that show you're really listening and interested. Your interest adds emphasis to your words of admiration.

With an Audience

Telling your husband you admire him can have a powerful impact when you do it in front of other people, according to the Smalley Relationship Institute. When you tell him in front of your children that you admire the way he plays with them, you do more than express your admiration. You also tell your children he deserves their admiration. When you say admiring things about him in front of his family, it makes him feel good, but also compliments his parents on how they raised him. When you do it in front of your family or friends, he really knows you're proud of him.

Secondhand News

Talk about things you admire about your husband with other people. Make a point of mentioning things you admire about him to some of his friends and to people you both know to increase the chance that he'll get the secondhand report of how much you admire him. After that, when the mood strikes you, just tuck that admiration into conversations offering a natural opportunity and trust that your words to find him someday. Hearing through the grapevine that you speak of him with admiration when talking to others is sure to brighten his day.

Put Admiration in Action

Randomly surprise him with reminders of your admiration. Write lists of reasons that you admire him, leaving them in various places for him to find, such as in his coat pocket. Give him little gifts representing specific qualities, talents or achievements of his that you admire. Do something nice for him when he does something you especially admire, telling him it's to show your admiration. Actively admire him when he's working around the house, complimenting his skill and how sexy he looks while he's doing it.

About the Author

Sharon Secor began writing professionally in 1999, while attending Empire State University. Secor specializes primarily in personal finance and economics, and writes on a broad range of subjects. She is published in numerous online and print publications, including Freedom's Phoenix, the ObscentiyCrimes and the American Chronicle.

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