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How Can I Be a Better Girlfriend if My Boyfriend & I Took a Break?

by Elise Wile

If you've made the decision to get back together with your boyfriend after having been separated for a while, you know that things have to change so that your relationship has a better chance of working out this time around. Since you can't change your boyfriend, the best place to start is with yourself. Consciously make the decision to interact and react in a more positive manner, and your relationship will have an increased chance of success.

Make sure you are in a place where you are in a place where you can share love, rather than attempting to get love, says relationship expert Dr. Margaret Paul in a May 2013 article in the "Huffington Post." Approaching the relationship from a place of need is likely to wind up unhappily with the two of you needing a break from one another once again.

Have his back, but don't be stifling, say the editors of "Men's Health," who conducted a survey of 2,000 readers to find out what these men wanted in a girlfriend. In other words, don't nag him about the wrinkle in his shirt before you go out, but do take his suit to the dry cleaners for him if he has an important presentation coming up. If you were in the habit of nagging him about his eating habits or otherwise acting like his mother when you were together the first time, then it's definitely time to stop.

Develop your sense of humor. A great sense of humor was irresistible to 75 percent of the men surveyed by "Men's Health." Maintaining levity in potentially aggravating situations can help keep your relationship from dragging you both down. Before, if you ordered a dish that turned out to be awful at a restaurant, it might have brought you down and tainted the evening. Now that you're back together, look for the humor in all situations. Telling your boyfriend that the lamb you ordered is still bleating will make you both happier than complaining about the chef.

Keep your focus on the things you value about your boyfriend, says Paul. Thinking about his beautiful smile and how he has a way of relating well to small children will make you much happier in the relationship than if you mull over his tendency to get angry while watching football or the way he leaves crumbs in the car when you pick up burgers. When you're feeling content about the relationship, your positive attitude will help him to feel satisfied, as well.

Have fun. Don't put so much pressure on yourself to make the relationship perfect this time around that you forget to simply enjoy your boyfriend and have fun in life. Paul recommends that you play a sport together, creating something or simply hanging out. When you and your boyfriend spend more time cracking up at the antics of your cats than discussing the relationship, you'll know you're on the right track.

About the Author

Elise Wile has been a writer since 2003. Holding a master's degree in curriculum and Instruction, she has written training materials for three school districts. Her expertise includes mentoring, serving at-risk students and corporate training.

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