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How to Bring Spark Back Into Your Boring Marriage

by Carrie Stemke

In 2010, the Daily Mail reported a dating website poll on marriage. The survey found that of the 3,000 participants, 25 percent reported that they had stopped going on dates or doing romantic things for each other, and that 6 in 10 respondents had forgotten why they married their spouse in the first place. Frequently, the stresses and responsibilities that come with having a family, job and a home overtake the attention you once paid to your marriage. If you find yourself falling into that trap, know that you can revive your marriage and bring it to healthy life once again.

Try Something Exciting and New

Not only is it vital that you and your spouse make time for each other, but a healthy marriage necessitates you try new things together. "It's amazing what getting out of your normal routine and pushing your comfort boundaries will do for your love life," says Sheri Meyers, the author of "Chatting or Cheating: How to Detect Infidelity, Rebuild Love and Affair-Proof Your Relationship," in an interview with WebMD. Go the extra mile and reinvent your date night. Take that dance class together, try that new exotic restaurant or spend an afternoon at the amusement park. The key, says Meyers, is to choose an activity that's both lively and stimulating, not just enjoyable.

Recharge Your Sex Life

Having an active sex life is a key part of a healthy marriage. It's important that you and your spouse make time for regular sex. Changing up your sex routine with a little novelty can infuse your marriage with new life, write marriage counselors Doug and Leslie Gustafson in an article for the Huffington Post. This could mean anything from trying a new position to playing some bedroom games to going out on a date where you pretend to be strangers. Don't be afraid to get a little creative in the bedroom -- sex should be fun, not a marital obligation.

Take a Walk Down Memory Lane

Think about the history of your romance. Recall the dates you used to go on and the way you used to touch each other, then make a list and get started on it, suggests Paul N. Weinberg, co-author of The I Factor: Simple Insights for Connecting in Your Personal Relationships, in an interview with WebMD. Go someplace that's special to the two of you, whether it's the theater you attended before you had kids or as elaborate as a visit to the town where you met. Hold hands, snuggle and engage in the simple, romantic physical intimacy that you did when you were first dating.

Plan a Couple's Getaway

Spending some time together away from the stresses of everyday life can do wonders for a marriage, writes family and human development professor Glen Jenson in an article on strongermarriage.org. Plan to spend some time together out of the house and away from the kids. And don't worry -- your getaway doesn't have to be expensive or for an especially long time. Even just one overnight at a local motel will invigorate your marriage with some physical and emotional juice, says Jenson.

About the Author

A New York native, Carrie Stemke is an avid writer, editor and traveler whose work has covered many different topics. She has had a lifelong fascination with and love of psychology, and hold's a bachelor's degree in the subject. Her psychology research articles have been published in Personality and Individual Differences and in Modern Psychological Studies.

Photo Credits

  • Visual Ideas/Camilo Morales/Blend Images/Getty Images